Affairs - still in touch after it's over?

[MagicSummer]

I was reminiscing today about a short-lived affair I had back in my 20s. There was never any question of him leaving his wife but we had a great time and did love each other. I know, I know, at this point, out will come all the MN serpents who will attack me but just read.

30 years on, we are still good friends and meet up occasionally. Nothing at all sexual between us, not even a kiss or hug when we meet, and that's fine. He became a good friend of my parents and was there when they both died, coming to the funerals and being generally supportive. My mother actually asked him to look after me before she died as she liked him so much. Strangely, I would probably trust him to look out for me more than anyone.

What do others think?

Is he still with his wife?

Divorced just 5 years ago.

Serpent? Or those who do not shag married men!?

I mean it's not really my business, but since you asked. i think remaining friends is shitty. You too have a shared secret history that his wife didn't know about? That started while she was with him?

Him being a part of your extended family? Your parents asking him to look after you? (I hope this was, at least, after his divorce)

Just seems shitty. Unless you are going to do some huge reveal where you say it was an open marriage or the wife knew and was fine. Then I think 'meh'.

Why do you want to know what others think?

@AnonymousUser12
Serpent? Or those who do not shag married men!?

What are you asking?
It's not clear.
You`ve been in touch with him for 30 years after the affair ended.
Are you thinking about starting something up with him? He's divorced now after all.

do you have a partner or had one during the 30 years of your friendship?

Why would your mother think it was acceptable to ask a married man to look after, and look out for her daughter before she died.

Did you know the wife or did your parents?

Serpent? I wouldn't have used that word to describe you but it works for me.

I'm not clear on what your question is. Would you like to give something a go now he is single? Is he older than you? Can you tell us more about your individual circumstances?

I hope that most husbsnds don't have friends like you.

Why did he get divorced?

Are you single?

Him becoming friends with your parents while he was still married and you’d had an affair seems unnecessary and grubby. But I’m not sure what you’re asking. Why do you care what anyone thinks?

Distasteful.

I'm glad she divorced him, getting rid of a vile gaslighting bastard, you also played into the deception along with your parents.

It really is distasteful.
Why the sudden confession ?

Yeah sorry, that's gross.