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Relationships

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Practical advice to stop resentment

1 reply

SpongeBobbie · 16/07/2021 14:40

DH and I are parents to a 12 month old who is very very energetic and headstrong. I am currently SAHP while DH wfh. He has had a crap year with stress at work, and does v long hours. I have had a crap year due to new baby in lockdowns etc. Our dd is lovely though. Neither of us have supportive parents or a support bubble, or childcare. Hoping to get a childminder in next few months but I lost most of my income due to Covid so not possible until next January at the earliest.

Whilst DH and I have pretty good communication, there are moments when resentment creeps in. I'm knackered from doing it all up until and including DD bedtime during the week. DH sometimes has to go off and do a bit of work at weekends too. At weekends we try to give each other a lie in but doesn't always work if other plans get in the way. I find myself longing for my Sunday morning lie in as the only thing getting me through the week, and don't want to wish my life away like this.

His work is tough, my days can be hard work with a full on toddler. We live in a small flat without a garden which doesn't help.

Any practical tips for how we can help each other? Communicate is number 1 I know - and we are generally pretty good and we are aware and talk about when we feel resentment. But it still happens.

How do other couples divvy up their time- do you have time off each or just share the load? Any thoughts?

OP posts:
Hawtain86 · 16/07/2021 15:02

Sorry to hear that you've had a rough year. It’s such a difficult period of bringing up a child and I think with time it gets so much easier. It’s the main reason I only had one child I don’t think I could do that all again lol. It puts a strain on relationships no one has any time, energy or patience but it gets so much easier when they get a bit older. Just got to ride it out I think around the age of 3 things get such much easier and they start nursery. So difficult when you don’t have any support either it was the same for me too. I worked weekends so he looked after our son then and he worked during the week so it was me Mon-Fri. We had absolute no life!

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