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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I Walk Away?

8 replies

Hawtain86 · 16/07/2021 13:07

I’ve been dating a really nice guy for about a year now. He treats me so good and I know I’d have a really great life with him. He’s very easy going and kind and he’s great with my son. He’s your typical nice guy.

I’ve been having a few doubts recently though. I’m getting bored of the whole relationship as great as he is I just have this whole ‘meh’ feeling about the relationship. Im not excited about it. Im not in love with him but I care about him a lot. He’s not my usual type and there was never that butterfly feeling when we met, he was just safe. I didn’t really think we would get this far but there was never any reason to end it. Now we’re talking about moving in together and I’m doubting everything.

Another issue is that he has a dog and I’m starting to think long term I’m not sure I want to live with a dog. I have a bit of OCD with cleanliness. He has a lab and the smell and hair just gets everywhere even though he has a good clean up before I come over I just feel icky being at his. There’s always hair in our food, it’s always begging and jumping up. I know most people love dogs and probably won’t understand, I’m just not a fan! As far as dogs go it’s a lovely dog it’s so sweet and my son likes it a lot. Its great fun going out on walks it but the actual thought of moving in with one i don’t think I’m going to enjoy it one bit. I know he’ll probably much prefer someone who is a dog lover and I feel bad that I am not.

I should be happy I’ve found such a lovely guy but I’m not. I wish I had these strong feelings for him but I don’t. I know there has to be something wrong with me. I feel terrible guilt for not feeling the same way about him. Obviously the dog comes before me, I just don’t know if I’ll be able to hack living with the smell/mess. Should I walk away?

OP posts:
Umberellatheweatha · 16/07/2021 14:17

Absolutely time to call it a day.

No need to be in a relationship just for the sake of being in one.

You're not that into him and the dog thing is the icing on the cake.

Justmuddlingalong · 16/07/2021 14:18

Yes.

Aprilx · 16/07/2021 14:52

Yes, walk.

seensome · 16/07/2021 14:59

Yes not being in love is enough to walk away, you say there is never a reason to end it but there is, he just doesn't do it for you. There will be another who you would have feelings for again and it would definitely be worth waiting for that again.

PrincessMyshkin · 16/07/2021 15:09

Yeah, you're not that keen and I am fully on board with not wanting dog hair in your food/ a dog jumping up. I get the impression if you let this progress to moving in etc, you're storing up misery or boredom for yourself in the not too distant future. He sounds a nice man, he just doesn't do it for you and that's fine.

Hawtain86 · 16/07/2021 15:16

Thanks for your replies. I guess I’m reluctant to end things with him as i was single for 7 years before I just couldn’t find anyone I had that special connection with. I don’t want to settle but part of me thinks I don’t want to be a single mum the rest of my life and maybe what I’m looking for isn’t out there Confused

OP posts:
Umberellatheweatha · 16/07/2021 15:50

If its not out there it's not out there. Settling for a pale imitation of it (and forcing that on the other person) is not a remedy.

sunnyzweibrucken · 16/07/2021 16:39

Definitely end it. My ex was more into me than I was into him. I never had butterfly feelings either and was quite bored during most of the relationship. He also had a children and although I thought i was okay dating someone with children, I realize I just don't like kids enough to have to cater to them and be around them all the time. I began to resent being in the relationship over time. it's not the life I had envisaged for myself. He is now with someone who loves his kids and caters to them and treats them as her own.

So i think over time you will resent the dog and it will cause issues in your relationship. I say set him free to find a dog lover :)

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