When does it get easier?

[Coffeehamster]

I posted about a man I’d been seeing and that communication had cut down. It’s basically become non existent so I text him that it needs to stop and I’ll be blocking and moving on now. He was begging me to not to do it and that he’s sorry. He said it before but nothing changed. I haven’t responded and I have blocked him.
I’m utterly heartbroken. I truly thought he was the one, at the beginning, but if he was then it wouldn’t be so complicated. I feel like I have ruined it all with my behaviour too; being paranoid, clingy, needing reassurance, all because I was worried he was talking to other girls which I don’t think he is.
I know I need to put him behind me and forget, but I can’t. I’m struggling with letting him go and wondering if I should have tried harder. My friend said if he means it he will find a way to contact me and make it work. So far he hasn’t tried and it’s been almost 2 days. I miss him so much and I never thought there would be a day he wasn’t in my life. This is my first ‘relationship’ in many years so I’m new to the heartbreak. Can anyone help me see I made the right choice? How did it work out for you in this situation?

Too.much.drama

Whether or not he was in the wrong, you did not feel secure with him. He is not the one for you.

It may be that you have issues yourself to work through with regards to self love, self respect and self trust (because without those things, there cannot be love, respect and trust of others). Perhaps some counciling might help.

But right now, stick by your decision. Don't game play. You said it was over so its over. If he were to get in touch again it would only mean he dudnt respect your 'no'. So he still would not be suitable.

You dont sound like you love yourself. So dont date. It's not the time to date. It's the time to go in adventures, make friends, take up hobbies and learn to be happy in your own company.

There will be time enough for men.
Get yourself sorted first.
Also learn how to spot abusers (incase there was anything going on there that was similar-eg blowing hot and cold to make you feel insecure). Read up on these things continually throughout your life. Learn to trust yourself and your decisions.

You've blocked him, so he can't contact you, and you told him it was over. He's listened to what you said and respected your wishes even though he was unhappy. Why are you unhappy that he's showing you this degree of respect?

I’m not sure I understand the problem. You have blocked him and told him it’s over so he is respecting that. I would be more worried if he kept pursuing you after this.
If you feel you’ve made a mistake and want to be back in the relationship then you need to make the first move.

I was just giving background, I’m asking when it gets easier to accept and move on from him because I liked him a lot and made the decision to block out of respect for myself

It gets easier when you choose.

A couple of days moping with ice cream is perfectly understandable. After that, give yourself a kick up the backside and start living your life again.

Everyone is living with some pain or sorrow in life at some points in time. Thats just life. Get on with it.

If you make a point of surrounding yourself with good friends and throwing yourself into hobbies and things you enjoy, itll be easier in the meantime whilst you wait for it to pass.

Be confident you made the right decision for you too. Which it sounds like you did.

Have you ever had a breakup that wasn't sad? Maybe they always are to some extent. Even if you know it is for the best. If you were totally unbothered it would be quite a shame.

Thanks
I had one long term partner who is my children’s father but we split mutually and it wasn’t sad or on bad terms. I’ve had teenage heartbreaks but that was nothing. I liked this one a lot and thought I’d finally met Mr Right, he just didn’t want to be.

Do you think you are sad not to be with him, or disappointed that it wasn't what you expected - sad not to be with Mr Right?