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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Any Online Dating Experts?

6 replies

natis · 15/07/2021 09:17

Ok so I've been dating on & off for the last 5 years since finding out my exH cheated.....

Apart from one 9 month relationship I've not really met anyone where we both really clicked and were compatible.

So there's someone I've known for a while through a mutual friend (more an acquaintance than a friend of a friend) and I've always found him a bit attractive but he wasn't single when we first met. However, last week I was at the shops and bumped into him and have never felt butterflies like this in years! We didn't chat apart from hi but he was with a woman (I think his mum but def not a partner) & I was with friends he didn't know so would've been a bit awkward and I don't know him particularly well.

Yesterday I seen him on an online dating app and when I discreetly asked my friend she said he's definitely single now.

I've been toying with the idea of messaging him just something casual about seeing him at the shops but not being able to chat.

However, I swiped right when I seen him on the app and we didn't match. I'm now wondering if he's seen me and swiped left (in which case I 100% don't want to message him) or if I've not come up on his app yet?

I know there's no way at all to know for sure but if I've swiped right on him, I'd be near the top of his stack. Is that right?! So chances are that within 24hrs of me swiping right for him, he will have seen me? Or is there a good chance I've not come up yet?

From everything I've heard through friends he's a really nice guy and we seem (on paper) to be really similar/compatible!

I know I sound obsessive over someone I've seen online but we (kind of) know each other in real life and I've not felt sparks like that in years!!

Thanks

OP posts:
ILoveShula · 15/07/2021 09:34

Let us know if he gets in touch.
Good luck.

nolovelost · 15/07/2021 13:21

He may not have seen you yet.

OomphRidden · 15/07/2021 13:27

Hard to know whether he's seen you or not, he may not even be active on the site. I guess you need to sit on your hands for at least a bit. If nothing comes from the site, could you ask your friend to discreetly sound him out?

Good luck, I really hope it works out for you.

ComtesseDeSpair · 15/07/2021 13:41

If he’s really just a vague acquaintance you don’t have to see very often, why not ask your friend for his contact details / find him on Facebook and send him a message asking if he’d like to go for a drink? If he says no, then what have you lost, in the grand scheme of things? Beats waiting around trying to second guess digital algorithms at any rate.

Purplealienpuke · 15/07/2021 14:16

Life is far too short.... find him on social media and ask him for a meet up! Don't ask Don't get !! Good luck 💐

natis · 15/07/2021 15:37

Thanks! That's true.

I guess I thought if he'd seen me online and swiped left it would save the embarrassment but I'll never know if he's seen me or not 🙈

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