Is this an assault ? (Transvestite linked)

[celery2021]

Long story short. Married for 23 years and husband had an affair and at the same time as admitting the affair, he revealed he had been a cross dresser all of our married life, secretly wearing my clothes/make up and ejaculating into my stockings!
Needless to say, when he told me, I was broken and in total shock. He coerced me into believing that if I had sex with him whilst he was dressed as a woman (he rushed out and brought a strap on for me!) we could rebuild our marriage. I was desperate as I loved him hugely.
The sex act was humiliating, vile and has given me PTSD for the last 4 years (I think about it everyday) and no thought was given to pleasuring me in anyway. As soon as he orgasmed, he ripped off his female clothes and told me that he was still staying with his girlfriend.
I cannot tell you the emotions I have felt over the years and this scenario replays in my mind over and over and over.
He served me divorce papers the next day and flew back to the OW.
It's only now that I'm getting stronger that I wonder if this is classed as an assault?

Hi wow that must have been a shocker 4 you, I can't really see that as assualt as it was consenting by you both,!! Whilst that you can't pursue that you can learn from it and hopefully in time you will also heal. Even though he left to be with other woman it's likely he will repeat his ways with her, as he did with you. or may even take to next level and go with a man who may / may not crossdress also. Time for you to find happiness now,!! Good luck

Coercive control? You were forced to perform a sex act on him which you had no desire to do, it's not rape (that requires penetration of you with a penis) but it is sexual assault, I think - not qualified in any way in any field relating to this, so I could be totally wrong.

I'm so sorry this happened to you; I really hope you can begin to heal from the trauma. I am PMing you.

While it wasn't an assault per se, you were definitely coerced into performing a sex act you weren't comfortable with, and you have experienced that as a trauma.

A good therapist will be able to help you process the trauma and heal from it. None of it was your fault.

I'm not sure about assault but it's sounds quite coercive behaviour. Poor you

What ever you want to call it - it's fucking awful
Sending you a hug , please get some therapy and re-examine your thoughts around healthy relationships
What a wanker

I don't think it's assault but it's terrible abusive behaviour and I'm so sorry it happened to you.

He coerced you to have sex in a way you didn't want to, and which has traumatised you. Whatever label that has, it was so very very wrong. And his actions straight after those of a physcopath. There is no wonder you're left with the trauma of it.

Please do seek some counselling. There is help out there which will help you to manage the feelings and reduce the impact they have on your life.

@celery2021 have a look at this website:

www.transwidowsvoices.org/

And there's a long-running thread in the Feminism section. You'll find deep understanding there.

You're not alone. He's a bastard, to make you do things sexually which have given you PTSD.

It's not you, it's him.

Thank you all for your supportive comments.
I've really found it terribly tough and despite seeing three different counsellors over the years, the trauma has never left me.

Oh bless you. It can take a few tries to find the right counsellor but I do think you’d benefit from seeing someone who’s very experienced in complex PTSD.

@celery2021

Thank you all for your supportive comments. I've really found it terribly tough and despite seeing three different counsellors over the years, the trauma has never left me.

I'm a trans widow not a legal expert OP so can't advise whether it is an assault, but I can confirm that coercion in this area is not unusual. As a previous poster said, if you look on the trans widows voices website you will see several stories on a similar theme. You are not alone.

That is horrific. I hope you find peace OP I don't know if it is legally assault, could you run it past a lawyer if you were wanting to persue a legal avenue? He has definitely coerced you though.