So I posted before, but can't log onto that account so had to create a new account. I was with someone for 3 years, had a baby together. In the last year we were very on and off. He was very controlling at the beginning, telling me I couldn't be friends with certain male friends, accusing me of looking at other men, wanting to know where I was. I stupidly mistook this for caring and love and respected his wishes and didnt fight back much. I started to in the last year because I had the stress of a baby and I couldn't cope with his stress too. By the end he was physically abusive with me (about a month ago) and I didnt take him back because all he could do was blame me for his actions(typical abuser). I knew he was a lost cause. I reported him to the police, but didn't press charges.
Since then he has been in touch to get his stuff, but I said he couldn't come to my place as I dont feel safe with him being here. He started threatening that he would force his way in for the items. Most of the items he hasn't touched for nearly the whole time he was here including a weapon which I didnt want him having in mine and my sons presence. Nonetheless its his stuff. So I call the police and report that he is threatening to come to my place. They take the weapon, but not the rest of the stuff and write up a report for malicious communication. I dont press charges but ask them to have a word with him.
Since then he messaged saying he is going to start paying for our son and asking when he can see him. I kept my response vague as I didn't want yet more abuse. Then I get a phone call from the health visitor advising me to tell my ex that any contact with my son will be dealt with by social services, maintenance by CMS and his belongings by IDVA. He had been trying to pressure me to take a maintenance amount he decided, but I knew I would be chasing him and forever having to be in touch so I said 'no'. He went mental. He started messaging me saying he wish he never had a baby with me. That he wasted it on me and wish he had him with his other woman. I started to think he was thinking of stealing him to be with her. He was bragging about his new woman and their sex life. Highlighting that she did things that i wouldn't in the bedroom. This really hurt although some of what he was saying seemed too trite and convenient. We broke up not even a month ago. He was calling me ugly, a rat, vile, scammer, c*nt, loser, wanted me to hurry up a die and that his new girlfriend is everything he wished for and more... all the time he was with me he lived with me rent free so managed to save up a good amount that was meant to be for our family, but he now has for him and I guess his new woman. He was also rubbing this in. He made out I was the best thing that ever happened to him up until about 3 to 4 months ago.
Today I have been really down emotionally. I'm not coping. Fixated on everything he said. All the hurtful nasty things he said. I just don't know how to get out of this and see it differently for my sons sake. Meeting new people right now is just not the right time for me so I'm stuck at home hardly able to leave my house whilst he is already in bed with some other woman. I know I shouldn't care because he was violent and hurt me and good riddance the logical part of my brain says. But the other part feels angry that he gets to be happy whilst I'm left with these emotional scars.