I can't believe i'm even typing this. I feel so stupid and naive and never thought i'd be in this position.
I met this guy who was amazing, respectful, charming and I fell head over heels. Fast forward, I left my job, moved across the country to marry him after only knowing him a year. We are married now for 2 years and we have a young daughter and I am currently pregnant with second child. I don't have any family or friends here and only know him.
He is emotionally abusive, disrespectful, calls me stupid, treats me like a child. We have a ring door bell and he monitors when i come back and go out. I am just so upset to have put myself in this position and he knows that he can treat me this way and know that I don't have any where to go or income. I am looking after our daughter day in and out, clean and cook for everyone. While he works full-time and goes away on business trips. I have no access to his account. He has given me a credit card which he monitors the banks statement.
He is a high income earner judge and has very influential friends. I have seen how he treats people who cross him and he can get vicious to get back at people. I feel if I ever left, he would do everything in his power to make sure I don't get anything, even though I am working day in and out holding the fort at home while he excels in his career.
I feel so sad and angry at myself to have put myself in this predicament. I have lost so much weight from all the stress. Every evening I feel like I am walking on eggshells and he will take his stress on me. If I avoid him in the house, he will come looking for me, if I am with him, he will start putting me down or come up with issues to address such as how I look like shit. The good thing is he is always travelling for work and I can get some respite when he is away. He has never hit me, it is all verbal abuse.
I want to start an exit strategy (I am willing to stay so long until I have saved some money) and I am looking for advice here.
What is it that I can do now that will help me in the event of a divorce. I am willing to play the long game. ANY lessons learnt from SAHM who had an acrimonious divorce?
As I know he will want to punish me if I left. He will want me to be penniless and nowhere to go. As everyday he reminds me that I should be grateful of the life I live with him and the life he provides for us. Saying that I would be nothing without him.