it is gonna be long whoever read i appreciate it.
i dont know where to start it. i am married woman and cant stop thinking about someone else. so let me tell you how this started.
feel guilty, but same time finding myself right to feel like this..
married for 5 years . ten years gap between me and my husband. love him so much enjoying together we have son but we have lots of problem.
first of all we living his mum. moved in first place to save money but when he lost his job we got stucked with her.which means she is lovely but i cant even argue with him-someone always in our business.
secondly he is not working nearly 3 years. he tried some stuff but he waste his time with stupid things which i didnt even say anything because i was always trying to be supportive wife. later on covid hits and he couldnt find anything and now he is working in one project hopes it will work.
that means we had a financial struggle nearly 3years. of course he got depressed so am I. i have to thing about everything .
sex life is nearly zero. he is mind not there he has debt he felt worthless he lost his amazing career and he felt super guilty.
just i know he loves me so much but his mind always in money or in our problems.
finally we found out our baby has some health problems. i think it was cherry on the top . i am feeling so depressed. people from outside thinks i am the happiest woman have a lovely family no one knows what i am dealing with even my mum or my best friend. i am very good hiding my emotions.
now all of a sudden i start to fancy someone from work i think my mind just trying to be escape from all this problems and feel like someone else rathet than be myself. i dont wanna do anything wrong i love my family so much and i strongly believe if his financial problems solves our most of the problems just will go away but at the moment i feel trapped and only thinking about this random guy makes me happy. . i am one step away from doing something wrong.
i thought to maybe i will talk to him but what i am gonna say? he is already dealing with lots of things and now he is gonna start to worry his wife thinking about to cheat him?
be honest he is really trying now to fix stuff he is not working yes but he will cook for me before i go home bath baby do everything to just put smile on my face but all this things not enough for me any more and i feel really evil to feel like this.. i feel like my life get wasted in that house .