New Man - Opinions

[bellami]

I have been known to over react so looking for objective opinions

Been official with new partner for about 3 months, dating for longer, all has been well etc etc

Earlier we were on the phone when he starts laughing and says "my friend sent me a video of me drunk in the pub the other day, let me send it to you but remember I was just joking"

So he sends the video and it's him in his local pub that has a sign on the wall that says "lost socks looking for soul mates" and a place to hang socks and he's laughing hanging up one of his socks and he says "if someone else hangs up their socks then it's meant to be, finding myself a girl"

I told him that I didnt find it funny, I told him it was disrespectful and im embarrassed at his behaviour. His defense is that there was no girls in the pub and why would he willingly send me the video if he had anything to hide?

My view is that he wouldn't like it if i was in a pub making a show of myself making out that im single. Tbh I'm actually really pissed off... So.. Am I over reaction to LTB?

I wouldn't like it, but then I think I'm probably over sensitive, too.
It does seem disrespectful.

Maybe we aren't over sensitive? Maybe we are just not as easy to lie to and manipulate?

That's what i think anyway 😂

My ex, when we were first together, posted online that he was all dressed up and ready to go out, wearing his "pulling" shirt.
I decided I was being a twat to be offended, but of course, with hindsight I wish I had put my foot down then and there.

I really dont understand their logic. Why chase someone and ask them to be official etc if you're gonna act like an idiot? Just stay single? Or is that too clever for them to understand?

He's not a "partner" of you've only been dating 3 months

His behaviour is awful, you're right to get rid. He clearly sees women as sexual objects, not people with dignity.

*if

It sounds harmless to me unless there's more back story to it.

You're only dating him after 3 months.

He is still looking for his soul mate by the sound of it.

Even if it is harmless, I cannot see the appeal of a supposedly grown man getting drunk and engaging in this sort of infantile antics.

@FlowerArranger that's exactly it! I bet if there was any girls in the pub theyd be looking at him like what an idiot 🙄

Makes me feel embarrassed to be with such a Prince

Eww how pathetic and cringy

Drop him he clearly sees you as a placeholder not his soulmate. In vino veritas etc etc

Why was he drunk?

Eg...just sounds like larking about to me. I doubt understand what the big deal is.

That being said, but odd of him to send that video to you. As if he was making a point of saying he still considered himself to be single. But maybe he was just worried a mate would upload it online or something and youd see and get the wrong idea.

I dont think it's a dumpable offence. Provided he is committed and you've met his pals ect and he always makes you feel secure at least.

But if he has form for indicating that you two are not official or hiding you from friends ect then yeah...time to get shot.

*Eh...

It doesn't make any sense and is a bit odd. Be honest with how you feel without biting his head off. If he likes you then he should apologise and understand.

@bellami

Maybe we aren't over sensitive? Maybe we are just not as easy to lie to and manipulate?

That's what i think anyway 😂

You're the right level of sensitive for you. Everybody is different, and has different sensitivities. There is no objective right or wrong level of 'sensitive'. Honouring your sensitivities is called 'having good boundaries'

I told him that I didnt find it funny, I told him it was disrespectful and im embarrassed at his behaviour. His defense is that there was no girls in the pub and why would he willingly send me the video if he had anything to hide

He's minimising your upset. He's done something that upset you, and his concern is to talk about how he is innocent. He's not telling you that he can understand why you're upset or that he really doesn't want to upset you again. He's not thinking about your feelings.

I really dont understand their logic. Why chase someone and ask them to be official etc if you're gonna act like an idiot? Just stay single? Or is that too clever for them to understand

If you have to puzzle to work out why somebody is doing something that hurts you, your best bet is to leave. 'Why is he hurting me like this?' doesn't happen in healthy relationships.

I think i could have forgiven the action if he had apologised and understood my feelings but his reaction was horrible. So he is firmly in the bin.

His behaviour wasn't even funny. I don't understand why he felt the need to send it to you. If he'd have thought you'd have found it funny he wouldn't have explained himself first.

I'm glad you're binning him.

He seems immature , that would bother me. I dont think drunken silliness is at all attractive , that and having mates that encourage that kind of behaviour.