Help.
I feel like I’m going mad.
I feel like I don’t know what to think anymore.
I have 3 children. 2 grown up daughters and a teen boy. I’ve been with my hubby 18 years and my daughters are from my previous marriage.
My husband does things that are driving me insane. An example of that is if there is two slices of cake left - one is tiny and one is big. He will snatch the big one for himself. Where as I would be the one to give the big one away. He does those kind of things and I feel myself hating him. Resenting him.
We go out and he is rude to people, when he drives he doesn’t let people out and will stop in front of their car blocking them in the street rather than let them pull out in front of us… I find it such a turn off.
When I say something to him he tells me I’m always calling him names. He will reply and say ‘oh you’re picking on me again are you? Do I pick on you?’
it makes me then think… is this me? Should I be saying anything.
He wakes me up on my days off work at like 6am and says ‘if I’m up you’re up’ and makes out hes joking, but he wakes me up! I would let him have a lie in!
I couldn’t find my bank card the other day and he said ‘oh that was on the kitchen floor the other day’ so I said ‘if you saw my bank card on the kitchen floor why didn’t you pick it up for me?’ He replied ‘why do you always have to start?!!’ I shut up. He didn’t speak to me for ages.
We go out and he’s rude to people all the time. Someone is slow on a til and he tells them! If he sees someone doing something wrong like breaking covid rules or not socially distancing he will comment loudly ‘what happened to being socially distant’
if I say ‘shhhh’ he will reply ‘you picking on me again?’
The other day he ate the last two slices of bread, yes I know that it sounds pathetic but he could have asked if I wanted one.
when I pointed that out he flew in a fit of rage about how I’m a nightmare to live with and I pick on him all the time.
I question myself all the time. Is it me?
he says I’m a bully. Should I keep my gob shut? After all what am I gaining by opening it!
The other week he left his wallet home and told me to watch it for him. I counted the contents as we have a teenage son. And to be honest cos he is how he is, I wanted to know how much was in it so that way if he said any went missing I would know.
low and behold he woke me up at 6am accusing me of taking £100 out his wallet.
I didn’t. I even wrote down on a bit of paper the amount that was in there so I would know.
-now he keeps his wallet in a locked tin and the key on his key ring. He makes me feel like *** all the time.
He says things to me in such a way and I react to them and then he comes back at me saying ‘here we go again - name calling’
All the above incidents happened within the past week only. I’ve had months of this - years of it.
I feel like at the moment he is doing what he likes and it doesn’t matter how his actions make me feel - but I say something and he turns it on me like I’m some kind of unstable insane wife.
It’s getting to me so much I am thinking of leaving but I can’t afford to live alone. I only work part time and rents are crazy high.
I just don’t even know anymore :-(