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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I'm going to ruin my relationship

1 reply

grecianurn82 · 13/07/2021 08:30

I don't really know if this is something anyone here can help with but I am on the verge of destroying my relationship and really need advice.
I've been with my gf (same sex relationship) for 4 years. In November 2019 she finished with me, her family were very against the relationship (because it was with a woman) and caused all kinds of difficulties. This was exacerbated as she lives with her parents. We kept in touch and 9 months later she asked if we could try again. I agreed but said things would have to change.

She said she felt more confident in standing up to her family now and in fairness over the last 10 months she has proved this in words and actions. We're getting engaged in a couple of weeks, we discussed it because she'll be moving in with me, we both have children so it needs planning.

However, I am constantly afraid that she will finish things again. She did so last time with no warning, one day everything was ok and we were making plans for the next few weeks. Two days later she dumped me by text. I was heartbroken. She does seem more sure if the relationship this time and is standing up to her family but every time shes with them i get really worried that they will persuade her to end it again. Its making me clingy and anxious which is not what I'm typically like in a relationship. It'll be me who ruins it this time if I continue. Is there anyway i can learn to be more relaxed about it??

OP posts:
FirstStarToTheRight · 13/07/2021 12:10

If she’s making arrangements to get engaged and move in, those are pretty big commitments. The future isn’t guaranteed, family involved or not… I would enjoy the moment and leave the rest to fate.

If it’s causing you such anxiety that you’re completely unable to relax, then this may not be the right relationship for you.

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