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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Would you be upset by this?

36 replies

Naaaaah · 12/07/2021 23:51

Partner is going to a sporting event next week with friends. it's been booked for ages. no issue with this. He then drops into conversation that his adult son is going with him too. He said it in a cagey way for some reason and then said his sons fiance was also going. I wasn't invited this time, although he did used to invite me but our relationship isn't great at the minute, so he probably wants some time away. I didn't say anything but went a bit quiet. He said but you don't want to do this activity anyway. I asked if the fiance was doing it and he said no. So she's been invited, even though she's not participating but I've not been invited. Am I being petty or would you be upset too? He has done a few thoughtless things and I feel like I'm very low on the priority list right now in many ways.

OP posts:
billy1966 · 13/07/2021 14:52

So don't live this way OP.

girlmom21 · 13/07/2021 15:11

I'd want to know why the fiancée is going. What's their (son and DIL) relationship like? Is she unlikely to have let him go alone or have made life difficult for him if she hadn't been invited?

If he didn't invite you because he didn't think you'd want to go, which you admitted you wouldn't want to, I don't see the problem.

If he'd left you out and all the other wives and girlfriends were going I'd understand you being upset.

Naaaaah · 13/07/2021 20:36

They have a lovely relationship. definitely not controlling on either side. She'll be going because they want her to go and not be left behind by herself. irrelevant if I'm left by myself though.

OP posts:
YeokensYegg · 13/07/2021 20:43

Clearly the issues aren't about him inviting you to something you wouldn't like.

Why don't you share what the real issues are with him.

Naaaaah · 13/07/2021 21:17

There are lots of issues. it's hard to know where to start. I want him to want to fix it but he doesn't want to, despite what he says.

OP posts:
NeedyNora · 13/07/2021 21:24

I am in a similar situation yet in a rut and can't seem to get out. I can't be bothered with the hassle at the minute so just plod on. It gets you down and makes you feel worthless.

If you feel strong enough then I suggest you move on..

Naaaaah · 13/07/2021 22:33

I said to him yesterday that we needed to try and sort things out between us and perhaps we should meet up to talk. he said good idea, I'll look at my calendar tomorrow. He hasn't. He text this morning to say hello and there was a bit of idle smalltalk but that was all. nothing since. said he'd call tonight. nothing.

OP posts:
Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 13/07/2021 23:11

Do you not live together?

Naaaaah · 13/07/2021 23:47

No.

OP posts:
MiniTheMinx · 14/07/2021 00:05

Sounds like flogging a dead horse.

Fustyoldface · 14/07/2021 08:03

Op this sounds really depressing. ‘Needs to look at his calendar’ you know this is what the bloke I’m with said once about something important. Really makes you feel bottom of the pile. Get out and be free of this. He’s not that special.

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