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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Reasons for ending a relationship

7 replies

Sandra15 · 11/07/2021 12:11

I'm curious about why others ended long term relationships (not married or with children). I was with my ex for years, and it ended because I stopped feeling like I wanted to have sex with him, and he was constantly pestering. It had to happen at night and again the next morning, which was too much, and then even after the morning event he would be up for it again. It drove me insane.

Also he used to go away about once a year with his mates on a fishing jaunt. I know there were no other women or anything involved at all, I am absolutely sure. He also would make birthday arrangements for himself without involving me, and then presenting it to me as a done deal - ie spending birthday with mates. Then when I did the same sort of thing and he was miffed. and I said I didn't see an issue as he did this too, I got "don't be like THAT". Like what? I was only living my life.

Also when I challenged him on things, I was told I was vitriolic when I was far from it. Once this was in a restaurant when I disagreed with something or challenged. It was really innocuous, I can't remember what it was, but I would not have been aggressive or vitriolic when out in public. I told him to look vitrolic up in the dictionary.

He had a lot of good qualities, but these became dealbreakers for me and I couldn't be in a committed relationship with him because these things drove me nuts.

We do see each other now as friends, but that's it.

OP posts:
ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 11/07/2021 12:20

That sounds like very good reasons for breaking up with someone.

What were his good qualities?

Does his new girlfriend mind him seeing you?

Sandra15 · 11/07/2021 12:27

@ThisIsStartingToBoreMe

That sounds like very good reasons for breaking up with someone.

What were his good qualities?

Does his new girlfriend mind him seeing you?

He doesn't have a girlfriend.

He was very good company, really interesting to talk to and we always had lots of great conversation. We got on very well. Just as the time went on, it just fizzled for me romantically.

OP posts:
Crimeismymiddlename · 11/07/2021 14:38

I felt unsupported when I needed it most. It made me realise I was the driving force for everything and I wanted a more equal relationship. He was also a bit stuck in his ways-not the worst thing but I would not be happy with living Groundhog Day forever.

FridayNightByCandlelight · 11/07/2021 15:12

You can break up for any reason you like.

I break up with someone when they cross a boundary, behave disrespectfully or when I realise I'd rather be on my own or with my friends than them.

FridayNightByCandlelight · 11/07/2021 15:14

Sometimes it's a single blow, sometimes I operate on a three strikes and you're out rule. Depends what the issue is.

Toomuch2019 · 11/07/2021 15:25

This is the article I read that made me realise it's not about what the issue is or how many there are - wanting to leave is enough. It's an advice column so a series of letters before the advice

therumpus.net/2011/06/dear-sugar-the-rumpus-advice-column-77-the-truth-that-lives-there/

Sandra15 · 11/07/2021 19:54

[quote Toomuch2019]This is the article I read that made me realise it's not about what the issue is or how many there are - wanting to leave is enough. It's an advice column so a series of letters before the advice

therumpus.net/2011/06/dear-sugar-the-rumpus-advice-column-77-the-truth-that-lives-there/[/quote]
This is interesting. I was in a 2 year relationship from 16 to 18 and knew after a few months that it wasn't right. There was nothing really wrong with him, there was no zing, and I stayed with him because I felt guilty because he hadn't really done anything wrong and I didn't feel I had the right to end it. How silly is that?

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