I hate him

[again2020]

I haven't name changed. I'm sorry if this offends people, it's not my intention. I feel at the end of my rope.

I wish either me or my horrible emotionally abusive partner was dead.
We argue constantly. I can't do a thing right.
He's a gaslighting bully.
He hates my family but my life is spent running around after his. (There was a family row 18 months ago)
I'm not allowed to see my brother, and my mum isn't allowed here unless he's out. I can't go out with friends if he doesn't ok it first.
I've 'ruined his life' by having only one child with him.
I'm 'pathetic' and would be 'nothing without him'.
I'm mentally ill and he should have let me 'rot in psychiatric ward' (narrowly avoided mother and baby a few years ago).
I have a '2 bit job' and don't earn enough money.
I'm sat downstairs crying my eyes out. Will be a night for me on the sofa ..again.
I can't believe this is my life. So unbelievably unhappy.
I'm tied in financially and truly stuck. I have no where to go and no one to talk to. Most people have no idea what he can be like.
I don't want to loose my daughter. His ability to twist everything I say and make out how much of a terrible person I am terrifies me.
I wish I'd never met him. Truly I do.

Sorry to hear this X It maybe hard, but in life there's always a way out xx

You won't lose your kid. He can twist all he likes but courts never award father full custody. Besides, do you really think he would be arsed raising a kid all by himself?

Financially, get some legal advice. But I'd be potless in a womens refuge with ny daughter sooner than raise her with a man who treats me like shit. Or she will grow up thinking women are meant to be treated this way and just take it.

Start taking steps. Theres help available. Speak with womens aid for a start.

Of course it looks bleak if you sit about being a martyr giving it 'boohoo no one will help me'. YOU have to help you and be prepare to reach out and look for help.

Darling , take your child and go to your family , tell them that they were right
He's a cunt and you need help

They will not turn you away
You deserve so much better than this

Take your child and leave. Apply for every benefit possible. He’s making you homeless by making the home situation intolerable.

Speak to Women's Aid for advice

If you keep telling yourself you are stuck then going to believe it.

You are not stuck. Not at all. There are many women, many many many (some will be on this thread) who have been where you are and have found a way out and are happy and free living their best life away from this shit.

Reach out to women’s aid, tell people, start talking, start telling yourself that you can get out of this. Do it for your child. It’ll be hard but it’s not impossible. Start making plans now. Whilst he’s upstairs snoring his ugly head off you get yourself online and start looking at your options. You can do this

Womens Aid. Please. You don't have to live like this 💐

Reach out to anyone you have ... even if you haven't been in touch. Your brother, your mum, friends.

Let me say this clearly. Emotional abuse is coercive control.

He is a criminal.

Women's aid and all the help you can get from anywhere...there will be more than you know. You can do it. Life can and will be better.

Right. OK. Sounds like you're in hell. He sounds awful. I mean, I don't think awful covers it.

You're not as stuck as you think you are.

There are various options. At some point soon, you will be out. Free, away from him.

Are you accepting of the fact that he is abusing you? That he is forcing you to lead a life that you don't want to lead? And... how do your family feel about him?

You're not on your own.

You’re not stuck. Please believe me. I’ve been there, I know exactly how you’re feeling.

Contact your family, tell them you need to take your daughter and stay with them. I guarantee they have been waiting for this moment.

Once you are there get to women’s aid and get a solicitor. Claim every benefit you can.

I now have my own home and am now earning more than my exhusband. You can do it. Ask yourself this - do you still want to be sitting in the same situation in 5 years time? My life has transformed in 5 years. Yeah it’s been hard, it’s still hard, my ex is still a cunt but I am free and I have a good life and my children are happy.

Dig deep and find that bit of courage and strength, it’s there. You and your daughter deserve so much better.

I've been there

You must get out

Can you get a plan in place for tomorrow

Or get the scum removed from your home?

You've got to get out OP.
He won't take your DD.
Do you have any evidence - texts or anything from him? Even if not please don't let this stop you getting out.
Please tell family and close friends. And Womens Aid.
Good luck. Please do this for your daughter even if you don't feel able to do it for yourself.
You both deserve to be safe and happy.

@66babe

Darling , take your child and go to your family , tell them that they were right He's a cunt and you need help

They will not turn you away
You deserve so much better than this

I second this. You deserve so much more. Ghd first step is the hardest but you are an independent woman and you can deal with the shit believe me you can and you will come out of this feeling wonderful without that total effin c

You won't lose your DD.

You'll let her down though if you stay with this man and let her eventually end up in this horrible cycle.

You can always break away, even financially. You might be lift with very little but surely there isn't a price on your daughters future happiness?

I agree you should go to your family. Tell them they were right. Ask them for help.

Please ask someone in real life for help. I bet your family / friends would be thrilled to hear you're leaving him, and they could help you.

You need to do this for you and your child most importantly.

He is awful. You will be so much better off without him. You deserve so much better than him.

Take care and reach out for help now.