Does anyone else feel like this after having children with abusive partners?

[Fightingback16]

It is an odd feeling really but I guess it is a kind of disconnect. I love my daughter and I’ve done everything I have done so far for her. But I often look at her and I’m not sure where she came from, I know it’s me as I have the physical scars but no real memory.

She was born to a very different version of me, one who was abused and now that I’m not it’s like those connections with her as a new born have gone with the other version of me….oh I hope that makes sense?!

that sounds very disconcerting fightingback.

Could it be that now that you have become a different person, you have to re-establish contact?

I'm sure you are doing your absolute best, that comes over clearly, but maybe it's time to find a bit of counselling if you can with someone specialized in dealing with survivors of abuse .. maybe a mum who's a counsellor, too. I wonder if it's a sort of version of PTSD? if you were living in Survival mode that alters how you think a bit, and now you're more yourself again, maybe a counsellor could help you reestablish the direct loving feeling and history again.

How old is dd? Could this be post natal depression which I think can manifest
up to months after the birth.
If she is more grown up now then I think it can be even though you love your child you are still getting to know a developing personality and there are no garuntees you like what you spawned lol