To think my boyfriend was just looking for an excuse to dump me?

[laffytaffy]

We've been together since December last year, things have been pretty smooth sailing bar some minor disagreements. We've had a couple of arguments but nothing major. One thing that has caused a couple of arguments, is when he is at a work event, he will get carried away, meaning he has three times texted me last minute and let me down on our plans. On one occasion he'd arranged for me to come over to his place, only to text an hour before I was due to go to his asking if I'd mind waiting an extra hour. I said I did mind, and we didn't end up seeing each other that night. Similar circumstance has happened twice. Then again last week, he text saying he wasn't going to make it for the time we'd arranged as he couldn't leave any sooner and could I meet him an hour later again. This time, I got annoyed and said he'd never planned to meet me at the agreed time and I could've made alternative plans (I'd been invited out with my friends). Also I don't fancy meeting him late at night! I said that next time he is at a work function, not to make simultaneous plans with me because I'm not here to be messed around... Anyway, he sent me a text the following morning breaking up with me as he feels I am too demanding, controlling and I remind him of his exes who had issues with this behaviour too!!

He was looking for any excuse to dump, right? I don't really feel I've done much wrong!

Two people who’re wrong for each other rather than anyone being in the right or wrong

I'd say he can't have been too keen on you. He didn't mind letting you down and gave you up once you objected. If he really liked you, he would have tried harder. Plus from his comment, he's been guilty of this behaviour in the past and hasn't learnt from it, so it would only have continued if you had just sucked it up.

You can do better.

If he has a work function it seems like that would be it for him as far as obligations for the day. Why would he double book himself like that? Why have both a work function and a date when the function has no hard stop?

Does he expect women to be on stand by for him?

He's done you a favour

What is his job?

One of my exes was a surgeon. He was an hour late for our first date as he couldn't get out of hospital.

This did happen quite a bit.

Once we were planning to order a takeaway and have a quiet night and it ended with me being dropped off at the station as he had to go back into to an unwell patient he had operated on that day.

I couldn't complain and didn't mind. Someone's life trumped a date and I did know what I signed up for when I started seeing a surgeon.

Perhaps he just needs some flexibility.

Tbh if I really liked someone an hour later I wouldn't mind. I wouldn't say to someone I liked that I wouldn't have bothered and could have made other plans!!! To me that would tell me they didn't like me enough too.

Doesn't sound as if you like him very much either. Best over.

If that is the nature of his work then you aren't right for him either.

There's no objective right or wrong. Some people plan and like to stick to it, some people change things at the last minute.

What you have done was wrong for him.
What he has done was wrong for you.

I think it's odd what he said about his exes though. What point was he trying to make, by saying that his exes agree with you? I mean, if he's had several people criticise the same behaviour in him... doesn't he want to have a look at that behaviour?

I'd have dumped him. He's flaky.

Good for you for not being prepared to let him continue treating you like this. You can do better.