⚠️Trigger warning taking about sexual assault, abuse and mental health⚠️
About 8 years ago I left an extremely toxic relationship. He was emotionally and mentally abusive and over the years we were together he manipulated me segregated me from my friends and family.
Earlier this year I had some therapy for anxiety and depression and as a result admitted for the first time ever that he sexual assaulted me on multiple occasions.
When I left the relationship 8 years ago, I struggled. He wouldn’t leave me alone and as a result I was suicidal.
I overcame the depression but have been left in the long run with anxiety and what I have been told are ptsd tendencies.
I have since gone on to meet someone else who is amazing (understatement of the year!) we have had kids and are extremely happy.
Whenever I see my ex he has to come up and speak to me. It feels as though he has to make his presence known.
I started at a new gym in December and after lockdown I have been going everyday since. A few weeks in I looked up to see that he goes the same gym 🙄 what’s the odds out of every gym in our local area I chose the one that he went too.
My first natural reaction was to leave. Leave and find another gym. But I’m a contract and I can’t afford to pay to leave. So I stuck it out, and honestly the gym has gone to a place that I love to a place that I dread going.
I don’t feel as though I can’t do the exercises I want to or equipment I want to use because he is constantly watching me or he will approach me and talk to me.
I hate it! I just feel like no matter what I do or where I go he is still controlling me. I tried to ignore him and not let him impact my life any more than he has but as soon as I know he is there I go into fight or flight.
I know it sounds stupid because it’s been 8 years but I can’t break this ‘connection’.
Has anyone else ever been through a similar situation and felt the same way? What did you or are you doing?