Been in a relationship for about a year and a half, live about 45 mins apart, see each other on average twice a week. We have discussed longer term commitment like moving in and marriage.
Bf got into a relationship with me about 9 months after his previous long-term (6/7 years) relationship ended. I was wary at the beginning about them getting back together, not because of anything he said bit because it was so long and they weren't finished very long.
About 3 months in he told me she had texted him saying something along the lines of should they have finished/still having feelings and that he told her he was in a steady relationship etc. She then turned up at his house drunk in the early hours one night (she lives in another town but was on a night out ok his town) and he told me he called her a taxi and put her in it. I didn't have any reason to think he was lying, he seemed genuine and we went in a lovely break he'd booked for my birthday the next day as planned. The only fly in the ointment was that he texted her (and told me he was doing it) during the break to make sure she got home ok, and advise her not to drink so much. I knew her drinking was an issue during their relationship and said if she hadn't listened to him in 6 years of their relationship, what was the point in lecturing her when they weren't even together ... He said I was right. I was still slightly annoyed he sent her a text on our break.
A month or so ago (over a year later!) he told me she'd sent a similar text about still having feelings/regret,vavd he reiterated what he's said before, he was still in a relationship etc.
At this point I was pretty hacked off that this woman feels she can still contact her ex, my bf of nearly 18 months like this, and I told him so. Though it was pointed out that two of my exes have texted me during the relationship too, which is true. I said I wasn't single and discouraged any more texting from them.
That was a month or so ago and I have to dress up and say I checked his SM and email when he left his laptop logged on and was at the shop ...
He's emailing his ex and has been for a couple of weeks. She has since moved for work by the looks of it and they're discussing how it would work if they ever got back together. The emails are actually weirdly formal, there's no sexual or even emotional stuff ... Bit this is still cheating, isn't it?!!
I don't know whether to confront him or just end it without saying anything.
It sounds so immature but I feel like she will have won.
The relationship hasn't been great in the last while for various reasons, bit it's also still v hard to end it.