I’ve been with my GF for 18 months (both women), and she has a tendency when overwhelmed to withdraw from me and be quite unpleasant. She will refuse to answer my calls / messages and then when she does is very cut off and speaks to me as though I am a stranger. It’s really unpleasant. Something quite small can cause it to happen, even things that are nothing to do with me.
Anyway, in January I had a really sudden horrific nosedive in my MH. It was a combination of things, but then I lost my job due to covid and that seemed to be the tipping factor for me. It was really sudden and I went to the dr and got antidepressants because I went from feeling slightly low and anxious to being unable to function properly. My gf found this hard. She initially withdrew from me and said she didn’t want the worry and hassle and then she wouldn’t respond to me. Anyway we moved past this and sorted things out and after a couple of weeks I felt better again. About six weeks later I mentioned to her - in relation to how poor MH services were - that at the time I’d told the GP I felt suicidal but they weren’t concerned about that. This was on the phone. Maybe I shouldn’t have told her. She then said I was cruel and horrible to tell her that, she hung up on me. She blocked me. On everything. She blocked me from being able to call her. I was frantic, it makes my heart race and I feel sick and anxious.
She eventually calmed down and called me and said she was just so upset because she loves me so much and is so scared something might happen to me.
I definitely wouldn’t ever be able to tell her if I ever felt unwell again.
She has told me that when she feels overwhelmed and upset she wants to hurt me (not physically) and is purposefully unkind.
I love her. Most of the time it’s very good between us. But I’m worried - I’ve been in a long relationship where there was control before and then went into this one and sometimes I step back a bit from it and feel that there’s control in this one as well.