I have posted a bit about this before a long time ago, but this bothers me all the time and nothing has changed so here goes
I used to be very close to my sister, had a lot of fun when younger and there for each other, talk a lot and supportive. She used to be close to my kids. As the years have gone by, she met someone and has become quite well off, had her own kids and become quite distant. Many years ago there were a couple of instances where we had minor disagreements. One was a miscommunication and another was silly and alcohol related (all of us had been drinking at an event). Looking back on those, they seem to have occurred because she was subtly phasing me out and I didn’t really understand that I did not fit in her middle class social circle or lifestyle. I am not blaming her entirely but I have done nothing but try and redeem myself (even though it wasn’t all down to me).
I feel much more sad about the distance than she does, it is never spoken about. I have tried to give her space, be friendly, be funny, suggest meeting up, just ask about kids, leave her alone - I’ve tried it all. Contact is only ever on her terms and I know I have to accept that I don’t think my feelings on this matter. I’ve watched her phase out a lot of people over the years but I never thought it would be me.
My mum and I have become worried about her. She has a lovely life, home, kids, wealthy, a large circle of mates so I don’t know what she’s unhappy about. The pandemic seems to have changed her a lot. It’s been her perfect excuse for ignoring us all for 18 months. She’s really distant (more than usual), does not bother with my DC at all, or our mum. She seems ‘stressed’ uptight and anxious constantly and if we do meet up, we feel so awkward and she’s basically not very interested in any of us at all. I’ve tried asking if she is ok, and she will tell me she’s stressed but then radio silence for weeks sometimes months. I’m now just keeping contact for her kids, who I love so much and don’t want to lose touch with. I get stressed too, but I still manage to keep in touch with the family who love me? I don’t get it and I sometimes feel really angry with her. I don’t know why she no longer likes me or wants me in her life. My partner has only met her once, she can’t even remember his name to be honest.
I mean what do you do in these situations? Do you just accept the crumbs she bothers to throw out of duty? Cut them out? It’s not like she’s some old school friend.
Please don’t be too brutal 😂