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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Stuck in a rut?

1 reply

Franny0696 · 08/07/2021 18:37

Hi all,

Need some advice so I have been with my husband for 10 years married 2.

We moved out 3 years ago married almost 2 years and now have a 10 month old baby.

We are very similar people love the same things, do the same things always supported each other in every thing we do. But for the past year even when I was pregnant things have changed dramatically, we see each other every morning and evening speak throughout the day. He gets home from work and we literally sit on our phones, watch tv then that's it bed wake up same again. I went back to work beginning of June new job- work 1 day in office 2 days from home. My baby goes to nursery on the day im in the office and half a day when I am at home. Other than that I have and am with her 24/7. I generally never not with her.
I feel like we don't have proper conversations anymore it's the same old stuff, we hardly have sex one every other week if that. We don't kiss we flirt but don't physically touch. I try it all and it's im too tired etc.

I feel bored like is this my life now?
Are we just more like friends than lovers?

We don't ever argue except bicker or if he goes to the pub and don't come home till 3am. I just feel like Is this it now? He owns his own business so if he don't work he won't get paid so he works most weekends also.

We usually go on holiday at least twice a year and due to the pandemic we cannot do that.

I just don't know

OP posts:
Undermyunbrella · 08/07/2021 20:24

Your situation is very common in marriages with children. You just become 'mum and dad' and drift apart and forget what it was like to be a couple again. You just need to make sure you have time to yourselves to go on a date, hard with a baby at the moment but stick it out. Once you feel comfortable having your baby stay with someone whilst you an hubby have a date night now and again things will hopefully get better. Unfortunately me and my xh never got the babysitter and we drifted apart that much we fell out of love with each other and he walked out on us...he refused counselling which I begged him to try fornthe sake of our marriage and children but he wouldnt do it, so I would suggest if it gets worse try counselling. More importantly, talk. Talk to you hubby and let him know how your feeling. Good luck. X

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