Fed up

[Undermyunbrella]

Of life.

I live for my kids but honestly, if I didnt have them there would be no point in me being here, just to live the rest of my life lonely.

I love being single, I cant be doing with being 'owned' by somebody. And its nice to veg out and watch what I want in an evening. But im struggling with finances and I have no family around. I love going to work, that is my only 'social' time. Apart from the very rare occasion my kids are at their dads and the work pals have arranged a night out on that same weekend so I can go. Next one booked is a couple months away and thats IF the kids dad picks up.

I cant have a hobby cause of no CC through the week.

My life is literally get up take kids to school go work pick up kids then yea,bath bed. Never have money available to take kids anywhere and most times have very little motivation anyway. I have suffered with depression in the past and really think im going down that road again. But I shouldnt need to 'pop pills' to make me feel better. just dont know what to do! Im just writing down my thoughts on here whilst waiting till its time to pick kids up from school. Not sure what it is, if anything you can say. But thanks for reading anyway.

You need to get your kids dad to step up!

They are meant to go eow, but cancel last minute or work gets in the way. If I ask them to take them on a particular weekend that isnt 'their'weekend they will refuse out of spite, ive give up asking

'They' do you mean that your children have different dads OP?

Have you contacted anyone for advice regarding child support?
Are you in debt?
Are you struggling with money because your mortgage or rent is too high?

Its impossible to make deadbeat Dads step up, so lets knock that one on the head.

If you put a lab animal in a situation and gradually reduce its choices, increase its punishments, and keep letting it down then it will become depressed, and eventually give up trying. So its not surprising we end up the same way. Which is a long winded way of saying go see your GP and get anti depressants to tide you over.

Its very easy to lose your sense of self and your own identity when your choices become restricted. So thats something to work on; just because you cant get out of the house doesn't mean you cant have any hobbies. If you've got the internet you have access to music, films, and online learning.

Open Culture have loads of free courses listed;
www.openculture.com/freeonlinecourses

www.openculture.com/philosophy_free_courses

Thanks for the messages. Yeah, different dads, made the wrong choice twice over but got beautiful kids from those choices so wouldnt change it.

I am in a little debt yes, but Im paying it off. I have enough money coming in to help me through all be it mostly from UC and CM but im getting there. Its just I never seem to have a bulk of money in my account to spend in emergency or to save.

Il take a look at that website thanks @Thelnebriati

You might be able to get the debt written off or negotiate smaller payments OP.

National Debtline
www.nationaldebtline.org
Telephone: 0808 808 4000
Fax: 0121 410 6230
Monday to Friday, 9am to 8pm
Saturday, 9:30am to 1pm

Or contact your local Citizen's Advice service for further help.

Here's all the info you need on using the CMS:
www.gov.uk/making-child-maintenance-arrangement/using-child-maintenance-service

You can contact the Gingerbread helpline for more info on that: www.gingerbread.org.uk/what-we-do/contact-us/

Go and see your GP if you're depressed OP.

Can you sell anything on Facebook or Gumtree? Like most parents you probably have unused toys, books, clothes, might even have furniture and other clutter. Perhaps have a declutter and get rid off some stuff for cash.

Check out hotdeals uk for vouchers and other cheap deals for days out and discounts: www.hotukdeals.com/

More money saving tips here: www.moneysavingexpert.com/shopping/chat-tips-gold/

Check you're getting the best deals on bills such as gas and electricity. Check you have the cheapest phone service etc

How to save water: energysavingtrust.org.uk/simple-ways-to-save-water-at-home/

There's more info here on saving money with children: www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/education/school-education/help-with-school-costs/