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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I know the answer

20 replies

gingerface40 · 07/07/2021 19:30

After a hot and cold relationship, I bit the bullet and ended it, but stupid me went back last weekend (god knows why)

So everything was fine until yesterday. Texting sent a few photos and I actually sent a message saying "it's like your back to your normal self again"

Now since then I have heard nothing. He hasn't opened the message. I know he's probably out with mates with the footie and things, but my god it hurts.

Ykno that feeling where u feel absolutely stupid but on the other hand your wondering what I have actually done wrong?

Don't even know why I am writing this because I know this is not normal behaviour.
Just sulking like an idiot.

It's like being a teenager again playing silly games Confused

I haven't upset him, he was fine yesterday. Urghhh has anyone else had this?

OP posts:
Imjustsootired · 07/07/2021 19:40

Yep and it doesnt stop. Move on... if he was truly into you, you would not be feeling like this because he wouldn't let you. X

Original poster
gingerface40 · 07/07/2021 19:52

I have a bad head again with it all, barely bloody slept last night x

OP posts:
litterbird · 07/07/2021 22:28

You are not stupid, you gave another human being a second chance. With that second chance he has behaved the same. There should be no further chances. You gave it a go, be proud that you did now walk away with your head held high and dont entertain him again.

Original poster
gingerface40 · 07/07/2021 22:42

@litterbird

You are not stupid, you gave another human being a second chance. With that second chance he has behaved the same. There should be no further chances. You gave it a go, be proud that you did now walk away with your head held high and dont entertain him again.
What a lovely way to put it! Honest to God! What a twat x
OP posts:
seensome · 07/07/2021 23:28

Yes I have, in the end I ignored him and put myself on a dating app, distract yourself from him, you've formed an unhealthy bond to him but you can meet someone so much better than that.

cutebutscary · 08/07/2021 00:39

He's being a knob , move on, you tried again, nothing wrong with that , but you would be bonkers if you now go on to stay for more of the same treatment . So many more men to try out 😜

Enough4me · 08/07/2021 00:43

He likes to keep you dangling, cut the string and do some things for you. Not dating again right away, but meet friends, watch films, have a different hair cut/colour, do things that don't involve stressing about him.

category12 · 08/07/2021 06:12

I actually sent a message saying "it's like your back to your normal self again"

You reminded him he hadn't been a twat for a while, so off he went.

Original poster
gingerface40 · 08/07/2021 11:52

I knew when I said that! I just knew!

What the hell is wrong with people? Hahahaa

OP posts:
category12 · 08/07/2021 13:42

Well your mistake was thinking his behaviour prior to the bullshit was his normal - actually being a twat is his normal. Grin

Original poster
gingerface40 · 08/07/2021 15:38

Yeah I know! I thought it was me! Doubting myself again

OP posts:
Treacletoots · 08/07/2021 15:40

Oh dear. Don't keep doing the same thing and expect different results. Second everybody here. He's a twat. You're not. Block and move on.

Original poster
gingerface40 · 08/07/2021 15:42

Eeeh it's emotional abuse 😂🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
gingerface40 · 11/07/2021 10:58

So never text him, he's finally opened a messaged from Wednesday and put a Snapchat story up from last night which he never does!

Please give me the strength not to text him!

Hellllllllp 😂🤣

OP posts:
category12 · 11/07/2021 11:22

Why would you? He's not even directly contacting you. If he's trying to get your attention, it's in a complacent, arrogant way expecting you to come crawling. Doesn't that make you angry and pissed off he thinks you're that desperate and available to him?

Have a little pride.

LemonTT · 11/07/2021 11:37

I really don’t understand what this is all about. But that was a pretty loaded statement you sent. One that could be taken many ways. BTH, I would take it as meaning you don’t like who I am one way or the other.

Doesn’t sound like you two work. Move on and that means stop looking at his SM activity.

Original poster
gingerface40 · 11/07/2021 13:24

@category12

Why would you? He's not even directly contacting you. If he's trying to get your attention, it's in a complacent, arrogant way expecting you to come crawling. Doesn't that make you angry and pissed off he thinks you're that desperate and available to him?

Have a little pride.

Yeah I am so bloody angry! It was to stop me from sending something awful! But I haven't x
OP posts:
Original poster
gingerface40 · 11/07/2021 13:25

@LemonTT

I really don’t understand what this is all about. But that was a pretty loaded statement you sent. One that could be taken many ways. BTH, I would take it as meaning you don’t like who I am one way or the other.

Doesn’t sound like you two work. Move on and that means stop looking at his SM activity.

I only said it as he was back to his nice self again. I didn't mean to cause any harm in it. Obviously he didn't like it. I didn't think that would cause any upset to be fair x
OP posts:
LemonTT · 12/07/2021 14:44

It could be read as meaning he is back to his bad old self. It depends on how he thinks he you see him and if you have been critical of who is in the past.

In a happy relationship where someone has been out of sorts it would seen as a positive thing.

Said in a relationship where there has been a lot of ongoing conflict, it might be considered passive aggressive/ sarcastic.

Original poster
gingerface40 · 12/07/2021 16:29

Nah he knows and that's why he has done this again, which is a blessing really.

Weekends are the hardest at the moment, so just trying to occupy my time 😞

OP posts:
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