A bit of background first. I am an only child & I have been married to my husband for 33 years who has/had 3 sisters. I have always got on well with them & was always the one who had them over Xmas , Easter etc over the years as the family has grown its tailed off as there are too many people & yes like all families they are badly behaved at times & it was never reciprocated.
One of my sister in laws died last year who i was very close to we lived in the same road & our kids are the same age she was like the sister I never had. My mother-in-law has mental health issues all her life & is very demanding. Because of covid we had a very small funeral last year but managed to have a memorial for 40 outside & then tea in the garden which was lovely.
Because of everything that has happened the siblings talk about things about 3 times a day( I try & sneak out of the room because it gets boring & repeatve ) & we see my sister-in laws everyweek & go out for dinner once or twice a month .
This morning we were talking & I mentioned that it was so nice the weekend but I still feel sad my husband replied that it really helped him . Then he told me he was thinking & because of my situation he doesn’t do things with his family!! My first reaction was like what? he told me he didn’t know then I got very upset & said I feel like your treating me badly I can’t help being an only child & Ive never been more than welcoming . He told me it wasn’t about me it was about him . So I said this situation that I supposedly have is nonsense I have a great relationship with my own parents , kids , friends & family. He replied that Im being selfish & only thinking about myself so now Im really confused !!! So I asked him to explain to me what exactly he’d like to do firstly he couldn’t answer me then he said his sister should be able to turn up with her grandchildren without asking me ( I have recently moved & we are lucky enough to have a pool in our garden) I said I thought that it was unreasonable not to ask your spouse if they were ok inviting people over with especially with kids ( meanwhile Im the one who sits out there with them & actually the kids are no problem & enjoy splashing around ).
Im really confused is this grief talking or is he being a dickhead ?