Dating a guy at work - feeling a little overwhelmed and stuck.

[Cupcake00]

I met a guy in work (alot younger than me). I was a little apprehensive at first, not only because he was younger but we work together. Our manager is aware and has been supportive. However, women in the office have not taken to it kindly. I have been ostracised as a result.
It appears he has fallen quite quickly and as time has gone on, it appears that his whole existence revolves around me. It shows and he has openly said this in so many ways.
He is very lovely to me and says very kind things, however, I am starting to feel like we are not in the same place with feelings or lives. Also, without sounding mean, I feel a bit like I have taken on another dependent.
I feel a little smothered and as we work together too, its becoming too much.
I know it was a huge risk as we work together (my own fault) but I'm not sure how to handle this.
I am currently looking for a new job as the whole situation has been harder than I expected.
Not sure what I'm asking really. Just hoping to have a chat about it. Feeling a little isolated.

Do you actually working the same office/room or is he in a different department?

Several colleagues at my work are married after meeting at work but it does only seem to work if you're in different departments.

Have you told him you need for him to cool it down a bit?

Two separate issues here. You are being treated appallingly by your colleagues. Ostracising someone is bullying them and your manager should be made aware of it.
With regards to your BF, I agree you need to chat to him about expectations. Unfortunately I think it may well result in him getting worse though, as the more he feels you pulling away, the more he will try to cling on. You will probably end up having to stop seeing him altogether, which will be awkward at work, at least until he gets over it.
But if you like the job and have a good future there, I wouldn't rush and throw it away over temporary discomfort, unless it's in your best interests. You wouldn't find many men thinking they had to leave their job if they ended a relationship with a colleague.

Same office, different roles.

I haven't said anything. He is very invested. I try to calm the conversations or change subjects. It's kind of fallen into quite a dependent pattern.

Yes, I do feel very uncomfortable with how my colleagues have treated me. My manager is aware. Long story short. New manager appears to want to keep the bigger character happy. It's not a nice environment. It's easier to stay quiet. It's like a school playground some days. There are 4 of them. The others are pleasant enough but it's clear who manages the office. I'm a mental health nurse too, working in mental health services. Quite bizarre. Quite an eye opener, and makes me feel quite sad that this goes on.

People often don’t approve of relationships at work. Maybe it’s the age difference?

How is he behaving at work that they don’t like? You say he is like a dependent. Is he hanging around you when he should be working?

Do you actually want to be with him as you don’t sound very keen? It might be best to call it a day if so and don’t drag it out.