Should I write to them?

[BouncyDaisy]

I have 2 older brothers. They emirated a decade ago. They worked hard and made a different country their home.

I have a sibling at home and I have some issues with him. A number of years ago there was a change in him and signs pointed to drug use in him. I don't know what his current drug status is. I see a man who needs help. For example he's been experiencing insomnia for a good while now but he won't go to the doctor about it. I recently read more about drugs and the effects of drugs. I 3 particular drugs that would be a possibility based on his symptoms. Apparently according to what I read, insomnia is an after effect of the drug. Now I know why he won't go to the doctor to treat the insomnia. There's other issues coming into play now too. There's some sort of a depression in him. I don't know. He can spend days in the bed. I don't know if he is using drugs in his room and experiencing hangovers from them or if he is depressed. I see a man who needs help. I have a mother who won't say boo to him in fear that he goes out and tops himself.

Should I wrote to my brothers abroad and inform them of the problems with drugs. Then I see that they are abroad and what can they do when they are across the world? Probably not much.

What do you think? Should I inform my brothers. I thought about it and I think a letter would be better than a call so that I can write and get it all down on paper.

My brothers abroad never saw what happened with my brother at home. They never saw the drunken/trippy episodes. They never saw the hangovers lasting a week. They never saw him missing days in work every week before leaving his job. They never saw the rudeness and the anger and temper tantrums. They never saw the insomnia and neglecting going to the doctor. They never saw the depression. There's so much more.

What are you hoping to gain from them, do you think they will help? Technically it isn't really your business to share with anyone, but if yo're caring for him and think you can get practical help then I might. I would call them though. If you aren't caring for him I'd leave it.

I'd probably spend my time waiting for a good time when brother is sober , not high , receptive to you asking him if you can talk together

Tell him you are worried about him , that you love him and you know that he may be using drugs and wonder if you can help support him with anything
No judgment, just care

Tell him how this affects the family and himself , how you want the best for him and could you accompany him to the Dr and seek some help

Unfortunately if he doesn't want that help there is very little you can do

Thanks for the replies. I know my brother at home really likes my brothers away. One of my older brothers, I think I know him so much. He would be disgusted in learning how my brother at home turned out. I think it would be a deal breaker from one of my brothers abroad. There's an alcoholic in the family and one of my brothers abroad has zero tolerance for that and has implemented estrangement. I think it could be huge and it would get my brother had home clean. It would be a huge push to get clean. He will have to choose between drugs and his brother. On the other hand I don't want to be responsible for a rift in the family. Thanks for the replies. Its great to get outsiders opinions and advice. I won't contact my brothers abroad.

I would contact them.

Thanks bridezillamaybe. Now I am so conflicted after your reply. On one hand, I want to let my brothers know the troubles at home that occurred since they left. I know my brother at home has more respect for them and I would like to think, if my brothers were not happy with his drug use, he might change. I have a fear as well. When this pandemic is over, they might want to come home on holidays. I would be afraid that one or the other of them might be introduced to drugs on a night out drinking with my brother. In the Hest of a drunken moment I could see one of them falling prey easily whereas if they knew in advance the trouble it's causing l, if he was shown drugs, he would probably flat out refuse. There is that aspect too. Just to give them a heads up and a warning in case they come home next year.

If your brothers abroad are going to do stuff they will do so regardless of your brother here

Are you a carer for your brother?

To be honest, I wouldn’t tell them anything. The whole situation seems rather odd, so I’d stay out of it and let my brothers sort it themselves if they want to.