2-3 year plan to leave

[omgwhy]

Has anyone on here for advice on leaving when the children finish exams? The ducks in a row, what would you be getting ready other than money? I have 2 years left..

The decision has been made in my head for years I just keep getting bogged down with health, life, money, hormones and responsibilities and I can't seem to get over the line.

So I'm setting a deadline, we've not had sex for 4 years, I know I don't love him the way I should and the thought of being home with him without the kids fills me with dread, I'd rather be alone and bored than with him and bored and trying to "plan" stuff.

He's just drifted these last 8-10 years into a boring old man, with just nothing about him that I find attractive or even respect. Granted the day I leave he will turn himself around!

I'm financially the higher, I'm assuming we won't need to be paying each other any money? Other than splitting the assets.

Will he be entitled to half of my business as well even if it's limited?

Also for those that have done this please tell me some happy stories!

You need to see a solicitor. If you are married all marital assets will be split, I have no idea about a limited company. If you aren't married you will only split joint assets and make arrangements for the kids, depending on who has them the most nights.

Granted the day I leave he will turn himself around!

If you believe he's capable of change then why not try therapy first? You can always go back to Plan A if that doesn't help.

Loads of men spring into action after a split. They lose weight, take up sports, clear out their junk rooms and develop a sudden onset passion for French cinema.

If it literally takes ending the relationship for this change to take place, then backsliding is pretty much baked in.

See a solicitor.

Not sure why you'd wait ? The kids will know what's happening.
If you're both unhappy, why wait?
Sorry - I know that's not what you asked exactly.

Was considering this problem this morning- the thing not to forget is that you’re modelling what a relationship/partnership/family is to your kids.
I can put up with a lot myself, but I’d never forgive myself if one of my kids went down the same road as they thought it was normal behaviour.

@AbstractHeart he is capable of change, he's changed once before, about 5 years ago i had a breakdown due to mental load of the kids, house, work the whole load was on me. He is (was) messy, lazy and wasn't helping in the house, I do take the blame as well I thought it was OK and I grew up with my mum being very confident and in control, so took that position.

He changed massively, he's now one of those "perfect" men that does everything without even asking for a gold star, but it took me having a breakdown for him to even wake up and notice.

We slipped right back into me being his life manager again recently he's so passive.

He lives in some other land of plodding around, talks the talk about "plans" and actions and stuff but then does absolutely nothing about them.

He's drifted in his job, he's drifted as a father, he's not really engaged with the world.

He's not a bad person, we have a nice life but my god I'm screaming inside to be let out!

The kids are great, I have a fantastic relationship with them both but they don't respect him and don't look up to him at all, it's just a bit sad really.

I think we just aren't right for each other anymore.

Solicitors is it..

@Helspopje I know I'm really aware of that and trying my best to model a good family dynamic, but with a disinterested DH it's tricky.. and I kind of messed up being the juggling working mum as well. Let hope they can learn from my mistakes rather than follow me. We are all very open about life in general so I've spoken to them about all the changes 4-4 years ago and why it had to change etc..