Falling in love with someone else... what to do!

[seafoodandeatit]

I have recently started a course at college and there is a guy on the course that I have started having feelings for.
We get on so well but nothing has been flirty. I just feel this energy pulling me towards him and I cannot stop thinking about him. It's crazy.

I have been with my partner 5 years and we have a 1 year old. I love my partner. I would never act on this or cheat etc. We have a child together and a life together but I just can't stop thinking about this guy from my course.

Has anyone been in this situation?

I'm literally going out my mind because I can't tell anyone.

I don't want to think about this other guy but I do and it is almost over powering. It's really getting to me. I'm a good person and thought I was happy so this makes me sad

Yes. I would say distract yourself, make friends with others from your course and never hang out with him alone.

What you're feeling is not love, it's an intense attraction which often gets mistaken for love. Call it limerance or infatuation, but you have an idealized version of him in your mind and if you got to know him well, then you'll realise that he is just a regular, average bloke.

Remember the life you have with your partner and 1 year old. That is real and you belong with them.

The infatuation will fade over time, and you will eventually realise that it was nothing more than an intense crush on someone who makes you feel good just because you get on well.

It's just a crush, we all get them. You just need to concentrate on what you have, and what you stand to lose. I know it's difficult.

Limerence is the word I am thinking and yes been there many moons ago and for over it

seafood, as we go through life we occasionally meet people with whom we feel a connection. It's normal. You're not going to act on it and I promise you it will pass.

God been here. I wasn't married but I was in a relationship at the time. It will pass and you will wonder what you ever saw in him.

His breath probably smells and he may have really bad hygiene.

I know exactly who you're talking about and FYI, he doesn't brush his teeth, farts really loud in public and is ALWAYS rude to the waiting staff in restaurants

@Houseofvelour

Loool. Isn't it funny how we can build someone up in our heads?

I do feel for the OP because it is confusing.

[quote Addicted2LuvIsland]@Houseofvelour

Loool. Isn't it funny how we can build someone up in our heads?

I do feel for the OP because it is confusing.[/quote]
Totally.
I had a complete limerence with someone about 7 years ago.
I was completely and utterly obsessed and thought he was incredible. We had fun, the sex was amazing etc

Actually he was a massive twat and I just couldn't see it because I was so blinded.

Normal garden variety crush.

Avoid him. Use distraction. It'll fade.

Having one year old baby and taking a course are difficult and challenging. You may feel refreshed when you go to the college and see him ( suddenly different world). As others said, I believe that the intense feeling will be easily disappeared if you stayed away from him. Hope it all disappears soon. xx

@BringOnTheOtherWorlders

Normal garden variety crush.

Avoid him. Use distraction. It'll fade.

This. It’s nothing earth-shattering or even very unusual. I had a violent crush on a colleague in a long-ago former job, who’s since become a good friend, and I snort to myself with incredulity at the virtues I invested him with.