dh and i have been having lots of problems recently and we had aour first joint counselling session this week. counsellor told us to write down when things went wrong - they did earlier today and i went to write things down, dh got annoyed about it as he felt he was "being treated like a naughty schoolboy" and i wanted to gloat that i had something to write down. BUT instead of thing turning into the usual horrible nastiness - I took control and went back calmly to discuss it. I told him we had 3 choices - to carry on bickering and being nasty to eachother, to discuss what upset us or ignore it and let it fester. I said i though the second choice was best, he agreed and it all calmed down adfter talking for a few minutes! I'm so pleased i made the effort - when he was being petulant earlier i felt like screaming and throwing things - but didn't. I'm really proud of myself