Is this gas lighting or just lying?

[Orangemochafrappacino]

My friend has been completely screwed over by a woman he was seeing for the best part of six months. It turns out she was still seeing her ex and my friend is devastated as you can imagine.

She has told a LOT of lies to cover her tracks and hes going back over a lot of old conversations and realising she wasnt telling the truth. Hes read online about 'gaslighting' as a form of emotional abuse and seems to think this is what's happened to him as the whole situation has made him doubt his sanity.

I've listened as a good friend should but I'm not sure if I should be letting this narrative carry on as I thought gas lighting was something slightly more insidious than lying to cover your own tracks.

Could someone explain the difference please? I really want him to be able to move on from this and not spend the rest of his life dwelling on what may or may not have been abuse.

If I were to extremely simplify, gaslighting is like when they definately say or do something (eg: right in front of you) - and then they deny it.

If he were to confront her NOW with stuff he KNOWS she did (and she did) and she said 'no I didnt, you're crazy' then that would be gaslighting.

It's possible he experienced this in the relationship too however but just doesn't know how to word it towards you.

She is a blatant liar. But unless she is lying about things he knows are true, in an attempt to make him doubt himself, it isn't gaslighting.

Gaslighting..
Watch partner break something.
Say to partner, why did you break that.
Partner says, I didn't break it, it's in your head you nutter.

You can point out the difference between the two but regardless it's pretty bad isn't it.

I think the definition is a bit more nuanced than suggested by some pp. In my experience the gaslighting is generally about prior events so calling into question your recollection of what happened. If he thought she was cheating and said so, and she vehemently denied it, making out he was the one with the problem for not trusting her, that is gaslighting. I'm not sure what he has described to you though.

She may have done both. For example - denied something and said something in order to cover her tracks. Then she says she neve said that when she literally just said it.