Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Partner always busy

10 replies

Sjstanner · 04/07/2021 19:46

Iv been with my partner for nearly a year and I'm currently 17+5 pregnant. He's a nice man, but is always busy. He works all week, finishes at 5 but dosent return till 8pm, the past week half 9.. Then he stay up till about 3am every night leaving me to go to bed on my own. The past few weekends he has been busy on Saturdays not returning till gone 9pm. And then staying up most the night, then sleeping in mostnof Sunday. Leaving me and my two children to do our own thing on weekends. I have previously tryed to tell him that the relationship feels more like a friendship and I would like to spend a bit more time with him. He often listens but the next day it's goes back to normal. I have unfortunately decided to end the relationship today due to feeling very lonely and down. I would rather be alone then be with someone and feel alone. Like I said I have tryed telling him how I feel on numerous occasions but it has actually got worse not better. Would you do the same if you were in the same position? Or have I over reacted? Thankyou xx

OP posts:
whichwayisup · 04/07/2021 20:40

If he finishes at 5pm where does he go till 9.30pm. And what's he doing all night rather than sleeping?

Fckingfuming · 04/07/2021 20:50

Sounds like you're better off without him. A nice man would have listened to your concerns and acted on them, but then again a nice man wouldn't be treating you like this anyway.....

Sjstanner · 04/07/2021 20:55

He's a mechanic so he says he has other jobs to do after work, although I have had my suspicions considering he never seems to want to touch me. Thankyou for the replies I just needed to know I'm not over reacting. As I told him earlier I can't miss what I haven't had. Just disappointed in him as this is his first child and was keen on having a baby with me when he found out I was pregnant

OP posts:
TourdeTarte · 04/07/2021 20:57

Was the baby planned? It sounds like a lot has happened in under a year.

Whose house do you live in?

PersonaNonGarter · 04/07/2021 20:58

He’s on the run from you. Sorry.

Does his dad do the same to his mum?

He’s just not that into you.

Ginger1982 · 04/07/2021 21:01

Seems like things have moved very quickly if you've been together less than a year, you all live together and you're more than 4 months pregnant. How well do you actually know each other?

Sjstanner · 04/07/2021 21:23

It really has moved quickly. No baby wasn't planned. But im happy about the pregnancy and I'm willing to do it alone if needs be. This is what confused me as his dad left his mom when he was younger and he has always told me his fear is he will be like his dad. But today he's proved the apple dosent fall far from the tree. I think he will be an amazing dad and has already bought things in for the baby. But he just always seems so preoccupied and busy with work. I have even thought he has possibly some problems he's not been diagnosed with perhaps as he is very intelligent, he is always having to do something that tests his brain and he is useless at love and affection, but maybe I was just fooling myself.

OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 04/07/2021 21:27

If he's 'useless at love and affection' then I think you need to ready yourself for being a resident parent and coparenting with him rather than planning around being a team relationship wise Thanks

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 04/07/2021 21:28

Don't over complicate it OP. The only problem is that he has is that he still wants to live the life he was living before you came along and has no intention of changing.
You have stated your position and he has ignored it.
You and the kids do not come first - his hobbies and job does.
i was married to a man whose hobbies always came first and we divorced in the end, I just got sick of being last on his list of priorities.

Sjstanner · 04/07/2021 21:43

Yea, I really do need to accept that I'm probably just somewhere to live. He's moved back to his moms today, best place for him. I think I'm more upset at the fact we were meant to be going away with family in a few weeks, and I was hoping this would be the making of us. But iv realised a holiday isn't going to make him interested and he will only go back to his ways when we are home.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page