I went with a group of friends for a meal a week ago Friday. I have known one friend for 13 years he was being passive aggressive, belittling me and raising his voice. He did this to the others too but more so to me. He was very rude to the waitress too. I stood up to him but felt like he made me back down. This isn't the first time he has done this. On his own at home he is a nice guy. It's like he has to show off or be centre of attention.
When he got home he was like a different person acting like the nice guy I have always known saying we didn't get to catch up. He text me when I got home and we arranged to meet last Tuesday. 2 days after the meal I was really upset I left him treat me badly. I text him and told him and he said he was really upset I was say this. He tried to gaslight me and turn it round with some lame excuses. I didn't mention the others or the waitress as that's up to them to raise the issue. We made amends.
On Monday night he cancelled or Tuesday night catch up saying he had a long day at work the next day and did not rearrange anything. This week it is one of our friend's birthday and usually we go for a meal and nothing has been arranged so I'm guessing he doesn't want to go for the meals anymore.
I just find him very two faced. He said there is a work colleague of his that he doesn't like and she tags him in 'jokes' on Facebook and he isn't keen on her yet he celebrated New Year with her, goes out a lot with her and will go 8 miles for a night out with her yet he moans and will only go to a pub that is a 3 minute drive from his house for our group meals. He also moans about another couple he is friends with and yet makes the effort and travels and hour and stops over with them. I don't like people being two faced.
I just don't get why he makes the effort and treats the people better that he complains about. I feel sad after 13 years that I didn't really know him and I feel his behaviour now has probably terminated the group dynamic.