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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

On the sofa

7 replies

User1023 · 04/07/2021 03:53

So dh and I have been rowing for a few days. He’s been very unreasonable and pretty cruel. He has history for this. Personal comments and spite and often has gaslighted me. I always have tried to smooth things over, and do anything to make him happy and calm again.

Friday evening was horrid. Yesterday was spent not really talking as I felt disgusted with him as to how he’d behaved in front of dc.
However last night we were due to go out for dinner so we still went. We spoke before going out and agreed to make amends. We actually got on well and had a lovely evening.
When we got into bed, he let out a really personal dig at me again. Out of the blue! This time I flipped!! I swore at him and had an outburst. I stormed out of our room and onto the sofa.
I’ve never done this before. I am now sat here not knowing if I should go back to bed or stick it out. I am wrong for swearing and I feel it’s wrong to be on the sofa!!

I just don’t want to make things worse 😢

OP posts:

Longdistance · 04/07/2021 04:03

I wouldn’t stick it out. Personal attacks and digs is pretty low. I couldn’t live like that. The only one making it worse is him. I’d make him dig his hole and bury him. Wretched man. He’s probably happy you went to sleep on the sofa as he’s now got the bed to himself. He’ll sleep soundly because he doesn’t give a shit by the sounds of it.

Frazzledd · 04/07/2021 04:07

It's 4am, I'd make myself comfy on the sofa OP- if you go back up now your likely to either get into a row or not sleep feeling frosty.

Let things calm down a little, have a hot drink and watch a movie if you can't sleep, you can have a chat in the morning with clearer heads if it's been going on for a while-

What did he say to you that upset you?

Aquamarine1029 · 04/07/2021 04:08

Your poor kids.

Justa47 · 04/07/2021 04:13

@User1023

How’s its going?
You ok?

avamiah · 04/07/2021 04:14

@Frazzledd,
Yes I agree with you totally as it’s late now so no point getting into a argument, better to get some sleep than none at all .

WhoDatDen · 04/07/2021 06:07

Hope you are ok OP

TheFoundations · 04/07/2021 07:35

He has history for this. Personal comments and spite and often has gaslighted me

Why do you think you shouldn't be angry? Why do you think you should stay in a relationship with somebody who treats you this way? Is there something special about you that means you don't deserve a consistently supportive relationship with a kind, loving partner?

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