FFS parental visit post lockdown

[VivaDixie]

Visiting parents for.the first time in 18 months. With DH and DS1&2. Have been here 8 hours and so far:

DS1 is overweight and we are overfeeding him (he is pre pubescent, he isn't overweight)
DS2 is underweight, we are not feeding him properly (he is 8. Constantly on the go, likes healthy food anyway)
I need to dye my hair, my grey is showing (I like it)
I should have set my alarm and should have got up earlier as we were 30 mins later than ETA (travelled from one side of country to the other, 30 mins is nothing)
Minecraft is evil and inappropriate for 8yo
I need to be more strict with kids, then when I tell them off for something I am too strict
I didn't get a joke she told me earlier, ok it happens, i was asked if I had any sense of humour with the eye roll
Earlier on I was relaying a funny story of someone who had a go at me about something I said. She said I should keep mouth shut and not engage with people 🤔 (slight backstory, someone asked me a question about a school thing, I responded to say why something had happened, she snapped at me, I was like 🤷🏻‍♀️)

Wtf? I am late 40s. We were really looking forward to this. I know they treat me like a 15yo but forgotten how bad it was. Shouldn't they be pleased we are here? They are being wonderful with the kids but constantly nitpicking at my parenting, looks, personality etc etc..

Lockdown was great for some things..

Can you not leave? I would rather sleep in my car than deal with this

Lockdown was great for some things l agree. We visited my mother last weekend so you’re talking to the converted. The stupid questions, the inane comments

@VivaDixie as aside why do people demand an exact ETA for long distance journeys. There’s lots of unpredictability in driving 100’s of miles. We aren’t popping to the Tesco down the road. Someone l used to be friends with used to wonder why l couldn’t give an exact ETA for a 250 miles journey and would text me repeatedly

Any chance there's a room going at a local hotel or b&b?

If they do it in front of the kids, take them and leave. If they don't, leave the kids and go to a spa.

Are you going home in the morning or staying longer? If the former then set your alarm early and get on your way. If the latter then find an Airbnb and find a day out.

After my fathers funeral there were so many snide comments from my mother, sister and an elderly relative (whom I scarcely knew) that I went upstairs, packed my bag and walked out of the house at 11.30. I got a cab into the city and was quite prepared to find a hotel but just made the last train back to my home city.

I did not answer my relatives phone calls for a week. After that I told them that if they wanted to see me again they had to write me a humble letter of apology. It never came so I went NC.

I occasionally speak to my sister on the phone but the relationship is still very cool and distant.

Problem solved.

Thing is it is as @EL8888 describes. Not 'too' direct and just aside comments but enough to remind me of life in the 80s

We went out for pub dinner/footie just the 2 of us last night so avoided another 3 hours of it, the kids watched a movie in their room.

Thing is they can be lovely, we had a really great long convo about their planned extension and what they want to do with, they were listening to some ideas I had, but then a small barbed comment slips in....

And yes, the ETA thing FFS. They were texting me as I was stuck in traffic, I had told them about the traffic but am ETA was still required

Going home in a couple of hours 😃

@memberofthewedding well done for dealing with an already emotional time. I almost NC with my DSis at my grandmother's ashes service as 'i was scattering the ashes wrong'. Didn't speak to her for months

You have just resurrected every painful visit and phonecall with my mum. I can practically hear her sigh.

Agree that lockdown was good for some things, good trick was sticking to time limited phonecalls, with a list of safe topics pre-prepared (weather, books, recent recipes tested, gardening).

@Timeforabiscuit exactly what I do. I also have topics to avoid. Mainly politics 😬

We have mysteriously avoided politics so far. Mainly because the kids have monopolised the TV so they can't put BBC news on. They are watching it in the kitchen now but me and DH are keeping out the way 👍

@MrsTerryPratchett

If they do it in front of the kids, take them and leave. If they don't, leave the kids and go to a spa.

This