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Relationships

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First date

22 replies

Zig27 · 03/07/2021 12:06

I went for a first date and the guy drank a pint and a half then had 3/4 of a bottle of wine. Is this normal on a first date?

OP posts:
mnahmnah · 03/07/2021 12:08

I wouldn’t be impressed. His aim is to get drunk, rather than enjoy some time getting to know you.

pog100 · 03/07/2021 12:21

Not sure about first date but it's isn't really that out of the ordinary? I imagine you had the pint and then shared a bottle, unequally, with a meal? Doesn't immediately raise flags with me, though I would definitely be feeling the effects after that.

Zig27 · 03/07/2021 12:54

@pog100

Not sure about first date but it's isn't really that out of the ordinary? I imagine you had the pint and then shared a bottle, unequally, with a meal? Doesn't immediately raise flags with me, though I would definitely be feeling the effects after that.
I was thinking is this normal or am I being judgemental. I don’t drink, he had all of this to himself! I don’t know if it is nerves or he has a drink issue.
OP posts:
Rainbowqueeen · 03/07/2021 12:58

I wouldn’t find it normal. This is when he is trying to impress you.

If you like him id try another date but Id stay emotionally detached until I was sure that there was no drinking problem. What was his reaction to you not drinking?

MouldyPotato · 03/07/2021 13:32

It might be normal for him but I'd expect him to stay at a similar level to you really

OldChinaJug · 03/07/2021 14:35

What sort of time frame are you talking about?

2 hours or 5?

Funatlast · 03/07/2021 14:38

Over what period of time?

Did you eat?

Was he driving?

HollyBollyBooBoo · 03/07/2021 14:40

I could drink that no problem over a few hours with dinner. What's his limit though, was he pissed?

lockef · 03/07/2021 15:02

I couldn't drink that and function but I know lots of people that can.
Was he good company?

ThePurplePalace · 03/07/2021 15:06

Personally I don’t think it’s a big deal. Might have been nerves, he might like a drink… Wine

Maybe consider if you can be with a drinker if you’re questioning judging him.

Zig27 · 03/07/2021 15:06

It was 3 hours and no food. He walked to the pub.

OP posts:
JustAnotherOldMan · 03/07/2021 15:58

Personally I don’t think that’s a huge amount to consume in 3 hours, but on a 1st date I’d probably be a bit more circumspect

TheFoundations · 03/07/2021 17:24

For some people it's normal. For some people it's more than they'd drink. For some people it's less than they'd drink.

You don't need to decide if he's done anything that's 'normal'.

You need to decide how you feel about how much he drank.

If you're posting about it, I'm guessing you feel uncomfortable about it. Which, again, is normal for some people, and wouldn't be normal for others.

It's your responsibility to decide what suits you and what doesn't.

coodawoodashooda · 03/07/2021 17:28

If you don't drink then it's not a good sign for you.

PurpleFlower1983 · 03/07/2021 17:40

I would find it normal and would have drank the same probably (me and DH got drunk together on our first date and had a great time) but if you find this strange then it’s a red flag that this guy is not right for you.

MadMadMadamMim · 03/07/2021 17:43

I don't drink, but I think a bottle of wine has 5 small glasses in it.

So over 3 hours he had a pint and a half of beer, and 3 glasses of wine?

He's hardly going to be plastered on that, is he?

Jackthementalkitten · 03/07/2021 23:55

My ex was exactly like this. Turned out to be a massive abusive alcoholic/weed smoker. His name doesn’t begin with M does it? I’d be very cautious.

WatieKatie · 04/07/2021 00:42

I think you’d need to have a few more dates to find out. May have just been first date nerves?

Bridezillamaybe · 04/07/2021 10:28

I'm confused about the 3/4 bottle of wine. Did he buy a large bottle and not finish it? If so, it sounds like he knew he was veering into drunk territory.

On my first date with OH I had two glasses of wine before I realised he was drinking non alcoholic beer (he was driving). I then ordered another but left half of it as I realised i was starting to feel drunk.

Some people would be absolutely plastered on what you've described. Some would be quite merry. If you don't drink I can see it seems a lot.

I wouldn't call it a drink problem but a drink incompatibility. I often go out and don't drink now but I wouldn't have ten years ago. I wouldn't have got on well with my OH then. Our weekends just would have been a ridiculous battle of him wanting to go hiking and me wanting to sit on the couch hungover.

Zig27 · 04/07/2021 11:03

@Jackthementalkitten

My ex was exactly like this. Turned out to be a massive abusive alcoholic/weed smoker. His name doesn’t begin with M does it? I’d be very cautious.
His name does begin with M! I hope it's not the same person.
OP posts:
Jackthementalkitten · 04/07/2021 16:22

He isn’t from Croydon originally is he?

Zig27 · 04/07/2021 22:33

@Jackthementalkitten

He isn’t from Croydon originally is he?
No, the Midlands. Thanks for checking, you just never know.
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