Hi everyone, I am a 43 year old woman with a young son and married to a wonderfully loving, devoted kind man. He is perfect in every which way except I have been in a sexless marriage for 10 years. It didn't happen after a child . He was always this way. When we were dating he went through a long bout of viral illness and I put low libido down to it. We got married within the first year of meeting. On our honeymoon he basically never initiated anything and I remember the rejection stung . Intimacy was there (platonic kisses, hugs, cuddles) and still is but in my memory he has initiated sex maybe 5 times. The first 3 years I tried everything - i mean everything. He would agree, acknowledge and then fall back in the same pattern. Basically in 10 years I've had sex once or twice (if I am lucky) in 6 months and havent had any since 3 years.
He is physiologically/biologically just fine - no issues. We even met a therapist and he only agreed because time had come to have a child ! Again we fell back into the old pattern. The sense of inadequacy, rejection, the craving for someone to be with sexually is intense! I look after myself , am tall , slim ..most people like my face and very particular about hygiene and grooming. Any ways, I have tried everything and don't know what to do. Its so bad that I want to actively look outside marriage. I even discussed with him - all he said was "If it makes you happy then you can go ahead'. Like I desperately wanted him to say "We will work on it...."! I feel really sad and depressed and it really effects all areas of my life now. I love him and our little world but feel desperately sad and stuck because this is also my language of love and desire :(. I have concluded he might be 'asexual' and has finally last month reluctantly agreed he may be but not sure . He is not gay that I am sure of and I have asked him many times. Any bright ideas.