Don't know how to feel

[Tori886]

My partner as being watching porn, which I'm not bothered about, recently he hasn't been having intercourse with me he says it's because he's either tired or not horny but he can watch porn and masturbate. I don't know how to feel about this.how should I feel?

There are no shoulds.

What would you like to happen? Working that out might help you understand your feelings. You clearly feel something without having any guidance about how you should feel, because people who don't feel something don't make posts like this on forums.

To be honest with you I feel like he's not attracted to be any more.

I ment me not be and it's honestly killing me to think like this.

OK. That's not an easy thing to deal with. What would you do if that was the case? Have you asked him if it is the case?

He said he is attracted to me but if he was too tired for sex or not horny why masturbate to porn, doesn't really make sense.

If he wasn't I don't think I could carry on this relationship anymore.

You're right, it doesn't make sense.

What would you do if it was the case that he didn't find you attractive any more?

If he's porn addled and there are no children involved, you could save yourself a lot of misery by kicking him to the kerb

@Shouldbedoing

If he's porn addled and there are no children involved, you could save yourself a lot of misery by kicking him to the kerb

We've got 4 children so it really is hard.

@TheFoundations

You're right, it doesn't make sense.

What would you do if it was the case that he didn't find you attractive any more?

I'd have to leave I think.

Is he just lazy to put the effort in to enjoy sex with you?

@RandomMess

Is he just lazy to put the effort in to enjoy sex with you?

Yeah he likes it in one position,he says watching porn makes him orgasam quicker.

You need to make your boundaries crystal clear to him, and you need to have the self respect to follow through if necessary. Living in this middle ground is harder than knowing the truth, even if the truth isn't what you want to hear.

Your self worth doesn't rest on whether one particular man is attracted to you. You know that, don't you?

@TheFoundations

You need to make your boundaries crystal clear to him, and you need to have the self respect to follow through if necessary. Living in this middle ground is harder than knowing the truth, even if the truth isn't what you want to hear.

Your self worth doesn't rest on whether one particular man is attracted to you. You know that, don't you?

Yes I know that.

Having a wank is a lot less effort, and a lot less time consuming, than a shag. So it's understandable if you're both going through a particularly tiring or stressful time.

However, if the wanking has become the default option and he's stopped fulfilling your sexual needs as a couple then that's an issue which needs addressing. Having sex together is sat differentiates your partnership from that of just amicable room-mates and Co-parents.

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation

Having a wank is a lot less effort, and a lot less time consuming, than a shag. So it's understandable if you're both going through a particularly tiring or stressful time.

However, if the wanking has become the default option and he's stopped fulfilling your sexual needs as a couple then that's an issue which needs addressing. Having sex together is sat differentiates your partnership from that of just amicable room-mates and Co-parents.

We're having incourse but not as much as we used to