Ex's new partner

[iamtheoneandonlyyy]

Hello, me again with my 1 millionth post about the ongoing stress dealing with my kids dad.
It's a bit of a sidestep from him.
I rarely speak to him on the phone if I can avoid it or indeed in person. Now every single time I do his deluded new partner is shouting down the phone at me or shouting in the street at me. Even with the kids around.
I can hand on heart say I don't shout at him or her, I don't know what I can really do about it, if anything.
For example, he was in the middle of ditching the kids again on the phone and when I was speaking she shouted down the phone
'That's it she pulls this shit every week. I'm getting a solicitahhhhh'
they have been together 8 whole months to be fair and she is about 4 months pregnant.
Is there anything I can do scout this?

*about

Personally, I'd be bowing Japanese style and blowing kisses in the street, but I don't suppose that'd help!

Smile and say please do get a solicitahhhhhhhh 🤣 and I second Japanese bowing ! Chin up .... your children will grow up , this isn’t for ever x

Tbh I'd stop speaking to him on the phone. Deal with him only via text message or email, then she can't get involved.

Ignore. Don't communicate over the phone. Everything in text or emails. If he is cancelling contact don't get involved in it. Just say ok.

In an ideal world it be great to have an amicable relationship. If it isn't don't add fuel to it.

Communicate about the things you have to know pick up times etc only

I have no contact with the children father other than about contact arrangements. He has shown no interest in them for the past 4 years. I will also ask for child support every so often and get ignored. But I won't let him off by not asking.

Why do you speak on the phone? I would never speak to my ex on the phone? Maybe she finds it odd.

Does she think your the one stopping contact? It sounds like it? Get all his ditching the kids on text message

@PumpkinKlNG as I said, I avoid it. He calls me sometimes to have a go at me or to tell me an elaborate lie to why he's cancelling having the kids with about half an hours notice.
Yes I also have him blocked but he's getting crafty with using other numbers
I'm dealing with the business of sorting his rubbish out just finding the unnecessary background noise from his current victim/ flying monkey very annoying
I don't engage with her at all.
I hope they do get a solicitaaaaahh so they can pay someone to tell him what I have been saying the whole time

@Theunamedcat I think it's partly that up to a point. It's more that I won't change at the drop of a hat when he demands it. She's arranged several trips away for him all at times when he's supposed to have the children.
That's not a coincidence but it's up to him to sort that out.
My previous posts explain he recently forged a positive covid result to get out of having them.
It's a whole big problem but the background noise if bring sjouted at by her when my kids are around is very annoying

When he rings with an excuse talk over him quickly "text me please im busy" or some phones give you the opportunity to reject calls and text that to the phone do that instead so you don't have to engage

I actually did similar yesterday. I barely react but he let the kids down again about an hour before their sleepover. I said 'you shouldn't keep letting the kids down like this'
He replied 'I'll deal with that shit later'
Then no doubt posted a pic of them online #myworld

I'd be getting a solicitaaaah to write a very strongly worded letter to them that these children have absolutely nothing to do with her and that he is risking his contact with his own children by allowing screaming shouting threats general abusive behaviour down the line could even lead to the police becoming involved and you suggest email contact only moving forward
Nor will you be abused in the street ONE MORE FUCKING TIME

Love this advice. That's what I'm asking, surely it's not 'allowed' to just constantly mouth off at me. Her or him

Failing that I'd go right up in her face and screech as loud as I could
" fuck off you ugly fucking peice of trash "
But as we are adults and better than that we won't let me know if you want backup I hate peoples like this

Without knowing the full history, I'm not sure your vitriol directed at her is justfied. I think it should be aimed fully at him. He sounds like a complete flake that is stringing lies in all directions and playing both sides.

Have you tried having a one on one conversation with her with the DC best interest the focus?

'That's it she pulls this shit every week. I'm getting a solicitahhhhh'

What shit does she think you’re pulling? You haven’t said what the issue is.

@iamtheoneandonlyyy

How old are your DC ?

If they are old enough to have their own phones, then I'd be emailing him and saying that due to the unsolicited and unwarranted intrusion and verbal abuse delivered via telephone, by his current GF, you have been advised to not discuss any arrangements concerning the DC via phone, therefore any and all child related discussions/arrangements/cancellations must be emailed and he can, IF he wishes to talk directly to the children, phone them in person. However, any changes to arranged contact must also be emailed for confirmation.

Hopefully, he'll think you're after written proof he isn't maintaining contact reliably, and you're after sole custody with no visitation granted for him, and he'll be determined you won't get that, so he'll keep to the schedule and tell his GF to shut the fuck up !

Christ it sounds like an episode of Eastenders!

What shit does she think you're pulling?

@Newcastleteacake vitriol? I think one only said I don't want to be shouted at
And no, that won't be happening.

If you knew the history you'd totally agree but I'm trying to just keep to the point

@AnneLovesGilbert the shit I'm pulling is for example, he will say he demands the kids with ten minutes notice and I will say I can't drop everything.
Or can you please call the bailiffs as they are banging my door for your debt

With the bailiffs send them to her house everytime if its where he lives

I would just say "I don't thinking you seeing the DC is in their best interests anymore" and watch him lose his shit and take you to court. Then you can agree to a court order and have fixed contact. You can't make him have the DC but it will stop him demanding the DC as and when suits.

@RandomMess I'm waiting to hear back from a few solicitors about him, I've had to recently call the police as well. It's a horrible situation. It's just exacerbated by this woman bellowing at me every two minutes. I know it's only based on whatever rubbish he's spouted but shouting and all that isn't needed

Ah god she’ll be trying to be your best friend when it all goes tits up for them (the voice of experience). Keep your head high.

@Oneandanotherone funny you say that, I never spoke to the mum of my stepson in eight years. Not out of any bad reason, we were just kept apart.
Strangely enough we now get on very well