does anyone else feel they chose the wrong godparent? need advice on my so-called friend

[CrushWithEyeliner]

Here's the deal.
I have known this person since I was 17 - she was a nice down-to earth girl and we got on really well. She later married a guy who was obviously (hate this word) quite posh and boy did she feel she had done well - she even changed her name from a prieviously ethnic name to a shorted anglosised (sp?) one. I never really saw what she saw in him but thought I would get to know him - he said to her he thought I was a bit "strange" . Anyway I think he is a twat, he dosen't talk or communicate, but was always civil to him.

I then decided I wanted to distance myself from what she was becomming and we didn't talk for a while. We then got back in touch through a Xmas card and she was really really sweet - she was really nice to DH and I thought, ok you are being v lovely, so we started seeing each other again.
But she blows hot and cold with me - when she fell PG she started with the showing off again, she would never open up to me or talk as true friends do, never admit she had a problem - everything is just PERFECT in her life when I know it can't be so rosy all the time.
Then when I fell PG she went overboard with kindness and advice, started being sooo sweet again and calling me giving me practical advice. She was so lovely again that I asked her to be DD Godmother as she was such a old friend, she was wonderful on the day and bought a beautiful expensive gift and said that she really wanted to get to know DD.
I have cancelled on her a few times after that as DD has been unwell, I couldn't make her DDs b'day but I sent a card and pressie. She is being cold again - showing off about her house move and how big it will be (I have a bigger house than her could this be it??). She also lies about their plans and creates exotic moves to countries which never happen and I just am perplexed at why she is behaving like this. DD has been really unwell but she is so wrapped up in her life all she responds is how her DD has been ill too and they took her to a Harley ST doctor??!!!??
I need advice on how to deal with this for myself - she has not done anything REALLY horrid but her behavior is more than annoying now; she is DDs Godmother and I'm starting to feel so down about it all. I am a v sensitive person and I need some objective views.

So sorry about the length of this and the spelling - just had to get it all down.

I have a lot of sympathy. We made what with hindsight was completely the wrong choice for DS1's godfather. I won't go into the details but it became clear that our friendship meant rather more to DH and I than it did to this bloke and his partner. We have ended up just not having any contact with them at all which is a shame for DS1.

I would say that after a difficult couple of years of agonising over what on earth to do, life actually got easier after we stopped seeing him any more and worrying about the whole situation.

thanks Dino - I guess I just have to get on with it....

anyone else have some advice for me?

It sounds like she is v insecure - can you get past the bragging etc. to the friend you liked once? Would she come through for you in a crisis? If you want to keep her friendship you might have to devlop a thicker skin about some of her more annoying traits. She may feel she has to work hard to live up to her husband's/in-laws' expectations and it spills over IYSWIM.

i think she sounds pretty normal really! she obviously cares about you but maybe just doenst have the same approach to friendship as you do

some people just dont like to reveal all - they share stuff with their husbands and that fills the need. Her 'boasting' might just be sharing her news? It might be what is really interesting to her - if it isnt really interesting to you, maybe you dont have that much in common any more?

to be honest she sounds like me and some of my friends and i just think maybe you dont have exactly the same view of the world? maybe just accept her for who she is and see if it is enough? would you be friends today if you met?

Thanks for your pov NG.
I don't blow hot and cold with my friends no and it is this change in attitude I find bizare - yes maybe you are right she dosen't like to discuss stuff with me - but she used to - and now she behaves like she dosne't want to loose face with me or something. I will accept her but no if we met today I would really dislike her and she is DDs godmother - that is my dilemma.

i think thats the thing isnt it - if you met today you prob wouldn't be hugely close

mind you i drifted apart from my best mate at college for a few years - i had kids - she was career girl - and now we are hugely close again so stick in there