Lost…

[Twosides12345]

Well my world has been thrown upside down in the last week! I don’t know why I’m pouring out on here as….

I don’t know what to do.

My partner has left me, ghosted me and obv taken our son with her. She has been struggling after giving birth, one moment I’m the greatest person ever and the next week I’m apparently mean and bullying her.

She has come on here and asked people’s advice regarding dirty fingers of all things…completely painted a incorrect picture of who I am and what things have gone on etc.

Not mentioned all the things I used to encourage her to do and….well actually I’m just not going to go in to details. There are two peoples accounts of what’s going on, and because there are a LOT of terrible fathers and absent fathers out there I know my tale is not going to be sympathised with or believed.

Never mind the fact that my 7yo daughter has been present to some of these events, and is now terrified of my partner.

I reached day 8 of total silence from her. Not a single word about where they are, HOW they are or what we are planning moving forwards. Fine, I understand if a relationship comes to an end but why are we weaponising a 3 mo th old baby?!

Because it’s day 8 and she has had some pretty erratic (and violent) behaviour I finally called the police. They have located her and said that they are safe and sound (a big relief!) but that for anything else I’m going to have to go through family courts!

What?!

So this means that she just gets to limit my access just like that?! Again just my say so, but I’ve been attentive and caring for our son and I bloody well dote on him so I’m not asking for side taking or anything but…he’s got the stupidest mega cute smiling eyes ever! And he’s 3 months!! If I’m not seeing him then he’s not going to know me or bond with me….

Has my partner, or I guess I should say ex at this stage?, claimed something about me and that’s why I have to go through the courts?!

This is insane. I just can’t even believe what’s going on…..

What do I do now? Go through the courts?! I have to fight to be able to see my son? Really?!

I’m just after advice as I’m lost

Fuck!!

Sorry….

I know there will be people that will always assume the man is the shit….but if I have to go through the courts then that will be seen and judged so I’m not afraid there, I will fight to see that gorgeous snuffle monster!

I’m just asking for some plain and straight advice in what I need to do, contact. Obv I have a lot of google to do but I’m kinda shaking and shivering i

I feel dirty ☹️

Obviously without knowing any of the ins and outs or taking anyone's "side", I can only advise you that you need to seek legal advice and engage a solicitor asap who can sort through everything. Hope it all works out.

Are you named as father on the birth certificate? If you are you have parental responsibility (PR) and your son has the legal right to a relationship with you. If not you need to go to court to get PR.

If she won't co-operate with access you will need to go to family court to get access court ordered. You can represent yourself if you can't afford legal representation, although obviously this can be difficult to do, the judges are (generally, usually) fair minded and don't try to trip you up.

Even if you both have PR, her taking the children isn't a matter for the police unfortunately. You will have to seek access via the courts.

You need to apply for a contact order through the family court if she wont let you see him. You need to complete a C100 form which you can find online and then email it to your nearest family court. It costs about £215 to do it. You don't need a solicitor to do that but if you want advice or want them to complete it for you you need to contact a family solicitor.

There are then a series of hearings before a contact order is arranged. If there is no domestic abuse you will be expected to both attend a MIAM hearing with an independent mediator but this is voluntary and is designed for parents to come to a mutual agreement agreement about contact rather than using the court process

This costs about £120 to attend an initial session. The government are paying £500 after that towards the process at the moment. If she doesn't agree or there has been domestic abuse then a person does not have to do it, then it will be up to you to apply to the family court.

You can represent yourself but a lot of people choose a solicitor/barrister with experience in family court.