Can someone explain this

[sarahonss1]

Husband and I have split up due to an affair on his side,it took 3 years of obvious signs,he still denies it but is now with this woman. It was an awful relationship and he was a liar,didn't bother with me and the kids and a list of other awful traits. This woman is awful and has trolled me for ages. Why I am upset they are together?? If it was such an awful relationship why am I not happy? I feel a sense of relief it's just painful my children spend time with them. Any ideas how I can deal with this?

The persistent denials he inflicted upon you for so long can play havoc with your brain making it difficult for you to think rationally.
Looking at it logically, it's better for you that you're not partnered with him. You acknowledge that. Another woman will now have to deal with him.
Your only stumbling block is the children. Do you worry that the children are not cared for when they are with him and this woman?

There's been a couple of incidents that my young child has told me about (he's 5) but my ex denies them,they are not serious issues just things that I should have been told about. I inform him of everything like school stuff or say if she's been poorly,he doesn't grant me the same. The woman has an awful rep of being a bully,but I guess if she's nice to my son that's all that matters. Guess I just have to agree that he's her problem now

He's a pathological liar and will deny anything if he deems it will get himself in trouble which means he will deny the truth even if my son says it's true. 4 years of lying and then being spotted with her and then denying it was him made me think I was losing my mind,he was void of empathy,I would be crying and begging him and he would stare at me blankly.

I suppose it's because he gaslight you for so long making out you were imagining the affair and now there they both are rubbing it in your face. I know it's hard to cut them out completely because you have children together but the best thing you can do is keep contact to the bare minimum and block them where ever you can (especially on Social Media)

There may be a tiny voice inside you telling you he might be a changed man because she changed him. They're also in a relationship and not stuck with the kids.
It leaves an overwhelming 'it's not fair' in the middle of your mind (speaking from experience)
It's not very dignified to admit it but it could be envy.

And it's a cunt and half to cope with.

It's never nice to be rejected like this. Even by an a-hole.

Lilmishap, he has his son at the weekend,she also has a child. I don't think he's changed as I already know he lied to her (right at the beginning). I'm in a new relationship after being single for quite a while to work on myself. I do think i wonder what she has that I don't but know I can't carry on thinking like that,maybe they are just more compatible

He seemed to be strangely bothered when he found out I was in a relationship and I received numerous texts

I had something a bit like this. I thought at the time it was unlikely that some great love match would come from a relationship born in this way, and it seems I am right. They are still together, but he spends a lot time at adult DD's (couple of hours away from him, so not nipping round for a coffee) and waxes lyrical about me. At DD's graduation, he spent far too much time talking about my graduation, and I was mortified for her. I think these type of blokes have a kind of Dulux colour chart, where they never quite get the right shade of green. He may think he's found his one true love (boak) but I think you might find it comes back to bite him on the bum. He won't suddenly have a personality transplant, and she doesn't sound wonderful to live with either. Your life will ultimately be happier I feel. Mine is.