What are, or were your priorities when looking for a partner and, if partnered, did you stick to them?

[bathsh3ba]

I'm interested to know what people think are the most important things when deciding whether to form a serious relationship with someone. I know mine have changed over time, but I follow them pretty solidly now, having learned from experience. If you are in a LTR, does your partner meet the top priorities?

My priorities are:

1. Shared values.
2. Demonstrates trustworthiness over time.
3. Demonstrates kindness over time.
4. Is intelligent enough for conversations about things that interest me.
5. Is financially stable.
6. Mutual attraction

I'm seeing someone at the moment who so far ticks all the boxes, but 2/3 need longer to be borne out and we aren't in a LTR yet.

I didn’t have any expectations
Been married 34 years so must have made a good choice

I always said I'd only marry/ live with a man who cooked well and liked to cook - my first two LTR followed this resolution, but it turned out that after the "honeymoon period" (not marriages but the excitement of the early relationship) was over the first turned out to be deadly dull (I did try to give my head a wobble and stick it out as he was nice and really should have ticked all the boxes, but he just turned out to be so intrinsically boring once we'd been together two years, I couldn't do it) and the second (a bit of a rebound) too much the opposite and too unstable and prone to being a twat - he was a chef ...

My DH doesn't like to cook but fits all other criteria.

• obviously someone who I can have good conversations with
• someone with different skills and interests to me so we balance and surprise each other and have interesting different experiences and opinions and knowledge
• same ideas about having children (how many, when, what if xyz happens)
• same stance on religion
• same ideas, broadly, on bringing up children
• similar educational level
• same attitude to mobility and living in different locations (I could never, ever have had a really serious relationship with anyone who needed/ desperately wanted to live in their hometown forever).
• tall and broad shouldered (superficial but honest, never been attracted to shorter and especially not to slightly built men)

Instant end to any early stage relationship where he:

-turned out to be vain

• insulted me or put me down
• turned up more than ten minutes late to a date without an outstanding reason (I know this might sound excessive but it is an excellent way to screen out egotistical types who think their time is more important than others)
• couldn't keep a job or home
• lived with their parents
• had children
• had an ex wife rather than ex girlfriends

(I've only dated before my own marriage and children so obviously that would be a bit hypocritical for someone divorced themselves)

• was really unpleasant about an ex

-was too obsessive about a hobby -needed to see his parents/ siblings every week or more often

This might be contentious but I always avoided men who's own parents were divorced ... I've been told this is unfair, and of course it is, but nobody has to be "fair" about who they have romantic relationships with!