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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can anyone help i need some much needed advice for my sister, awful situation

11 replies

ScoobyDoo · 22/11/2007 23:26

Ok it's a long story so trying to cut it short.

My sister is 39 & has been married for 18 years, they have one child who is 12 years old.

The last 6-7 years have been bad, there have been affairs on both parts, her dh works long, long hours, she sits at home lonely, depressed & fed up.

She has OCD & extreme depression has tried to take her life many times.

Now her marriage is up shit street, her husband keeps attacking her when they have massive rows, they physically fight, the police have been called 2 times in one month.

He keeps going out after work drinking not contacting her all day, she talks to men on the net because she is lonely.

She is desperate to get out & away, she has just told me she wants to die & if it was not for her dd she would slit her wrists, problem is 1 year ago they were given the cash insentive money from the council to help them buy a property, the council told them they would never help them again after this with housing, so she feels trapped, she has to stay there as no where to go no money, she needs to get out desperatly & i am desperate to help.

Her husband has turned into a selfish pig, he attacks her, he is an alcoholic in denail & takes drugs, she winds him up by talking to men on the net & it is just the most unhealthy, dangerous relationship now.

I am going to phone the council first thing to see what can be done, she needs out & needs out soon.

Any suggestion or advice? she is so so low.

I am going to call her back now see how she is, amke sure she has done nothing silly.

OP posts:
Katiekin · 22/11/2007 23:33

battered women's refuge? or a friend she can stay with. I think she needs to get out quick.

Tortington · 22/11/2007 23:36

if she goes to a refuge she will be a housing priority.

dd666 · 22/11/2007 23:38

there are domestic voilence lines who can help to re house etc

MrsSlowLearner · 22/11/2007 23:39

Citizens Advice Bureau? and yes Womans refuge is worth trying.

Sorry to hear this ,it does sound very worrying

She is lucky to have you though.

Poor woman i hope things work out for her.

ScoobyDoo · 22/11/2007 23:41

But her biggest problem is the council gave them money to get them out of council housing & buy a house so really i don't think they have any rights to help now?

I am going to call them tomorrow, i have just spoken to her, calmed her down & he is on his way home, drunk i may add i told her not to row & just leave it till tomorrow when he has sobered up.

I feel so sorry for my niece she has been crying tonight.

OP posts:
ScoobyDoo · 22/11/2007 23:42

Can i call the helpline? she wont do it, she needs to be pushed, she has begged me to support &help her so now i am making it my mission to sort this out.

OP posts:
Alambil · 23/11/2007 00:27

you can call, yes.

Women's Aid Ring them and look online

0808 2000 247

I hope she sees sense soon. Good on you for being such a fantastic sister.

If her husband gets violent - call the police. Do not hesitate. Say it is a domestic violence thing and they will put her in touch with the DV team.

Alambil · 23/11/2007 00:28

you can call, yes.

Women's Aid Ring them and look online

0808 2000 247

I hope she sees sense soon. Good on you for being such a fantastic sister.

If her husband gets violent - call the police. Do not hesitate. Say it is a domestic violence thing and they will put her in touch with the DV team.

Alambil · 23/11/2007 00:28

oops sorry

MsPontipine · 25/11/2007 23:43

Bless you - thank goodness she has you looking out for her.
Even if she can't get a council house can she not rent privately? Thinking the council would still pay housing benefit to help with rent if she's not working. Round here council houses are like gold dust so lots of private rentals too.

NKF · 25/11/2007 23:46

I'd suggest she stays in the house and makes an appointment with a solicitor. Also a doctor for help with the OCD and depression.

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