Stuck in a new relationship

[Jonnyb123]

Good morning everyone :) sorry for the long message but hopefully you take the time to read it.
So I broke up with my ex who I was with 4yrs about 11 months ago now but we were still talking and seeing each other for a further 3/4 months after we broke up. She was my "true love" and I adored her, It broke me when we split and I mean crushed me into depression for a good 5 months.
Anyway, about 5 months ago I got a whole new group of mates who I love and are like my brothers now instead of fake friends and within that, I met a new girl with who I am now in a relationship with. At the start, I was really attracted to her and generally really liked her so we started seeing each other for about 4wks then we started a relationship.
Now 4 months on and it is really bad I am not attracted to her at all to the point where I don't even want sex with her like we have sex 2x a month baring in mind were both in our 20's, I never ever want to see her and now in the past month I won't lie I have been wanting to go out and meet other girls and sleep with other girls I HAVE NOT just to point that out there but the urge is there as I am not happy and not attracted to my GF and I think I moved on too quick as I still think about my ex most days I wouldn't say I'm in love with her but I do think about her most days.
Now here is the horrible tricky bit, my girlfriend is literally deeply in love with me she idolizes me to the point it gets a bit much at times but she is honestly besotted by me I know that sounds really big-headed but she generally is as I am her first love and first boy shes slept with or even kissed and to top it all off she is the most kind, caring, loving, loyal girl I have ever met in my life and she is literally the type of girl you would want to marry and that's why it kills me to throw it all away as I keep trying my best to be in love with her and be attracted to her I have tried but I just don't feel it at all and it's mentally killing me and I feel like a piece of shIt and I know if I end it with her it would crush her and I mean brutally destroy her and I do not want to do this to any human but it is not going to end well if I just stick about trying to find feelings but she is literally my dream girl in terms of traits and attributes like she is the most kind and loyal girl going but for some stange reason I am not attracted to her.

What should I do? What can I do? and How do I end it?

Kindly, honestly (without being brutal), gently - but most of all, soon.

Take a deep breath and set her free. Tell her you moved on too quickly. And then, I would suggest you spend some time working on yourself and that you avoid dating anyone until you've worked a few things out.

Do it face to face and don't give her any false hope. Everyone has been through their first break up and survived - she will too. But do it today or the next time you see her.

As soon as possible- just end it kindly. You can say she's a lovely person, but just not right for you. She might be devastated initially but she'll get over it. Mych worse to string her along or end up cheating sometimes things just dont work out.

You're being a bit melodramatic aren't you Your break up didn't 'break' you, any more than this one will 'break' your current girlfriend. It might feel like it at the time, but life moves on. I suspect you won't be strong enough to end it with her, but will treat her worse and worse and cheat on her hoping she will end it with you.

She probably is so attracted to you because you don’t like her much. Some people the less interested you are the more interested they are. So don’t worry you’re the love of her life. You’re not. She will get over it. You just need tell her that you don’t think you’re compatible and you would rather end it now than have her waste time with you. I wouldn’t respond to any pleading texts either. It just prolongs the agony

Tbh she can probably feel you slipping away which is increasing the attraction. Twas ever thus.

She will be absolutely fine, we have all had our hearts broken and lived. And usually, later on, been grateful as the relationship wasn't right.

Don't hold on when you're thinking about other girls, it is unfair. There will be a guy out there who fancies her like mad.

Do this nicely, fire a warning shot so she doesn't think it's a date ('I'd really like to talk about us. Can I come round, or would you prefer a video call' or similar). Tell her the lovely things you've said, but make explicitly clear this is not working for you. Leave no room for doubt. And if need be, keep your head down in the friendship group to give her space for a bit. Classic 'it's not you, it's me'.

Trust me, she can probably sense you've checked out to some extent and you're not doing her any favours.

Please do not start behaving unkindly or cheating in the hope she will do the hard bit and break up with you. You're fully entitled to leave a relationship you're not happy in, and it's in your control to do it properly.

FFS, stop being so fucking dramatic and immature. This relationship is dead in the water so you act like a grown up and end it. Just tell her this is no longer working, you wish her well, and then you BLOCK her on everything. No more conversation or communication of any kind, it will only drag things out. Stop leading her on and get this over with.