DP is in a relationship with his job.

[User1110]

He works from about 7:30am-10pm every night, with no break (WFH). Very high pressure job in finance.

He doesn’t talk to me at all - sometimes I try and ask him something simple like what does he want for dinner and he just doesn’t answer me as he’s too engrossed. He’s on calls until 11/12pm some nights, and we are in a small flat so it keeps me awake and is affecting my sleep.

He honestly gives me no time - I sit and eat breakfast, lunch and dinner alone most days.

I also WFH and do all household stuff (albeit my hours are still long sometimes!).

Don’t really know what the point of this post is but I feel so down, I try and go out as much as I can but I get lonely always being on my own. I try and meet friends mid week, but feel like everyone else is with their partners in the evenings having nice meals and going for walks. No one can be bothered to meet up in the week.

This has been happening since last March and I’m just at the end of my tether to be honest. I’m also worried for his health as he eats crap, does no physical activity but then smokes and drinks excessively with his friends on the weekends. Terrible lifestyle

Anyone else’s DP like this?

What does he say when you talk about it? How old are you both?

Do you have to WFH? Have you an office you could return to, give you a break out of the house etc..

I'd just leave, tbh. You don't have kids, you aren't married, you might as well be single and not have a stressful houseguest, which is all he effectively is now.

I think he's checked out of the relationship, if you can call it that, sound more like house mates.
I would seriously stop doing him dinner and give him notice to move out.
He can't even spare some time to eat meals with you and doesn't include you at the weekends, don't put up with that, your worth much more.

Doesn’t sound much like a relationship tbh. I would leave - would he even notice?

So basically you're his housekeeper and cook. Sod that. What's the situation with your home? Can you tell him to leave? Or is it a joint mortgage/tenancy? It's time to go your separate ways. You just to work out how best to do that.

but then smokes and drinks excessively with his friends on the weekends

So, no time for you at all in the week then boozing it up with his mates at the weekend.

He's not your husband, you don't have children, he's not interested in you. He's just taking up space in your life as it's probably convenient for him in some way.

Up to you if you want to waste your good years on him, I can't see why you'd bother though. Mem aren't the be all and end all, if his relationship style and his lifestyle aren't compatible with yours then just leave him.

Why can't you talk to him? Lay it on the line. He's your partner can you not communicate? Mind you it sounds as if he won't even bother to listen. Just continue to avoid you as he is now.

I bet you do all the housework too.

Wouldn’t you just go stay somewhere and see if he notices?

I too would go elsewhere and see how long it is before he notices you've gone.

You sound like his unpaid housekeeper not his partner especially as he goes out with his friends at the weekend - does he spend any of his free time with you?

You're basically his unpaid housekeeper.

I’m also worried for his health as he eats crap, does no physical activity but then smokes and drinks excessively with his friends on the weekends

This alone would be a big problem for a lot of women, nevermind all the rest.

I think you have already normalised your situation to a certain extent, because there is a questioning tone to your post. There should be no question here - this 'relationship' is not normal in the slightest, nor is it healthy, to the point that there is no relationship here. I suspect you are afraid of letting go and accepting that.

There isn't any point in you being in a relationship with him, is there? You must feel very lonely and resentful. Do you have children together?

And if he couldn't be bothered answering a question about dinner, I really wouldn't cook it for him. That's incredibly rude of him.

I'd make plans to separate. Is your home on a mortgage or rented? If you would be the one having to move, I'd just get on with it and actually I think I'd let him realise you'd gone.

Cross post with @RandomMess!

Whenever I worked like this while in a relationship I was most definitely checked out of it. Sounds like he is too especially if he has time for friends in his free time