Would you say bye to this on line date ?

[fuckedandbombed]

I've been single for 18 months and in that time dipped in and out of online dating. Had about 20 dates and never hit it off with anyone or even wanted a second date.
Last week had the first date where it appeared we both wanted a second date . I was pleasantly surprised as was just about giving up . Anyway following the date he made it very clear he liked me , and there was some texting back and forth over the following days . He works for himself and is busy so I said I'd leave the second date to him .
All fine . Then silence . For 4 days, nothing , not a morning, good night - which is how it had been - a few texts a day just to check in .

I left it 5 days then text saying thanks for the date, not heard anything so good luck .
He text back saying he's been flat out with work .

Do I move on ? If he hasn't even got time to send a text then I'm doubting he's got time for anything else . He did also say I was his first date so he's probably seeing what else is out there although after one date I'm not asking ! I figured if he was interested as he said he'd make time and get in touch .
Do I leave it now ?
Block and move on?
Or text back . ?
I'm not invested after one date either it's just this one seemed to have potential so it's a bit disappointing.

Block. He has imo spent the last few days OLD and no luck so has replied to your texts eventually...

Neither of you bothered to text the other for several days so it sounds like either a) you’re both game playing or b) neither of you is especially interested in the other.

If you want another date, go on one. If you don’t, don't. But wasting time and energy on who should be texting who first and how often sounds exhausting.

Leave it, don't message again it's disappointing but you don't want to date someone that doesn't seem enthusiastic about seeing you again.
Up to you if you block, I only do that if they're a pest and I'm not interested, he might come back to you but definitely don't wait on him, keep looking and going on dates.

No don’t block. If he’s new to OLD he’s no doubt dating others. I personally wouldn’t date anyone who was new to OLD, as I couldn’t deal with guy wanting to go on loads of dates with other people. Sad but that’s how I am. I prefer to date guys who have had a bit of online dating experience and know I’m a catch!
Just send a message saying if you’d like to meet up again you’d like to see him again and leave it there. He might bounce back when he’s tried all the chocs in the box and realises you were the nicest one!

So you had been texting for a few dates, then you said to him “I will leave the next date to you” or did you decide to yourself that you would wait and see if he instigates it? I wouldn’t quite know what to make of it if I had received that message. Anyway yes I would leave it now.

*few days not dates

We'd been texting and he said he wanted a second date, as did I . But he said he was busy with work so I said ok I'll leave it to you - as in - let me know when you are t busy and I won't t be pushy - I'd carried in texting . The. He just stopped . Now saying been busy . I'll just leave it with him now - he knows I liked him and knows I was up for a second date . I don't want to come across as needy or pushy . I'll keep looking .

If you said ‘I’ll leave it to you’, and he didn’t get back to you, then there’s your answer.

When someone uses being busy as an excuse for not contacting you, remember that Bill Clinton found time for numerous dalliances whilst running the western world. If someone is interested, they make time.

The most common excuses are they are busy with work or they have a sick relative or family crisis. This comes up all the time, the truth is they are often testing the waters with someone else, when they start making excuses I would move on, it sets the whole tone from the start.

To clarify- I said I'd leave a second actual date to him to say when but we were still chatting by text .
Then it just stopped.

Ah just leave it. You’re bang on the money. If it’s true that he’s so busy with work he doesn’t have time to date anyway or at least it’s not a priority. You deserve better.

Btw, why do a lot of people day block on here? Unless they are a pest I wouldn’t consider it. Am I missing something?

IMO everyone has a few minutes to text hello and ask how you are. If he hasn't made the effort to do that I wouldn't bother anymore

Perhaps still text him see if another date comes from it but at the same time keep putting yourself out there . You never know the next person might be the one

Move on. He's not interested and you'd be wasting your time.

Thanks - when he said he'd been busy I said ok speak when you can .
Still nothing so I'll leave it now and see who else is out there . Here's to the next 20 dates if this is the law of averages 😂

You didn't bother to.text him then you told him "Good luck"

Sounds like he had lucky escape - you sound like hard work (and a bit needy).

With my husband (Thank God we've been happily married for 16 years, our ), we messaged each other nearly every day, met after 2 months (it was international dating so it took some time to meet up) and left the dating site after we met giving each other a chance to get to know each other better without any other people in the way.

It was the best thing we've done.

To have success with dating, both people should leave a dating site giving each other a chance. Then if this relation doesn't work out start dating again but not to date more than 1 person at a time.

Otherwise, there is constant temptation if the grass is greener and if there is someone better - prettier, wealthier, funnier, sexier, cleverer, etc. But concentrating on that 1 special person you are actually giving each other a good and better chance for the relations to develop and progress to the next stage.

When you don't do it, you never give one person your 100% attention and are constantly looking non-stop and at the end find it hard to find your right match because they are also not committed and constantly looking for someone better which is not always the case.

I would also not say I'd leave our next day down to you.

I'd keep messaging/phone calls daily or nearly daily (of course only if he replies and shows the same interest), keep it light, and ask when and where you would like to meet if you would. I miss you, I'd love to see you soon/very soon/regularly.

I aren't needy .
He was texting daily and I was replying daily or vice versa.

Then nothing.

I had hidden my dating profile as was quite happy to concentrate on what appeared to be a very successful date .

He is clearly still looking, and from texting 5x a day and chatting on the phone and FaceTime he went completely silent.

I messaged a couple of times. He replied but said he was busy .

I had arranged the first date so I said if he was busy he could arrange the second and I would travel to him this time as he has traveled to me the first time .

I have not pushed it - I've messaged twice and now it's gone silent I've left it .
How the fuck is that needy ???!

Update . He messaged once to say of course he wasn't dating a zillion people.

Then nothing. I have sent a message saying I thought a second date might have been on the cards but I don't believe anyone interested couldn't spare 30 seconds to say hi . I've had nothing in weeks . He clearly is not for me - and my self respect is just getting better so I have blocked. I'm not willing to be the last choc in the box ! If he was interested he would have messaged. So I'm not interested this far down the line - if he had come back it would have been because he'd tested the water and nothing better was out there .

I'm giving it a break now ! Online is too hard !

For context - last night got taking to the most beautiful man . Think beckham !

He then goes on to tell me for the last month he's been having unprotected sex with what he thought was a 16 year old. He's mid 40s . Yuk
Turns out she's 14 .
Block . Good look down the police station fella .

This is too bloody hard .

@fuckedandbombed, the poor child. Can you report him to the site?

@fuckedandbombed

For context - last night got taking to the most beautiful man . Think beckham !

He then goes on to tell me for the last month he's been having unprotected sex with what he thought was a 16 year old. He's mid 40s . Yuk
Turns out she's 14 .
Block . Good look down the police station fella .

This is too bloody hard .

You should report him to the police.

He's come off the site else would report .

His parting shot was she thought she was pregnant so he'll get arrested for statutory rape .