13 year itch?

[AnonIsTaken]

I just need someone to tell me it gets better really. We've been together 13 years, married for 3 we have 2 DC, but have been together since we were 17 Things have just got boring. DH never wants to do anything together. We never have date nights, dh never compliments me, i love him, and I tell him I love him and I think he's gorgeous every day, and how attractive I think he is, and he tells me he loves me, but I get nothing more, even if I dress up or make effort, so I've given up. Also with Hancock being in the news. I guess I want to know if it's normal to have crushes, As long as you don't act on them? I've previously had a crush and it made me feel awful for dh. So yes, do it get better?? Please don't flame me. Thank you

I'm sorry, I don't know if it gets better because when I felt like you in my relationship I left. I'm now in one that I'm much happier in but I do sometimes wonder if I just gave up on a decent marriage for minor things but then I look at my parents, who have an incredibly strong and loving marriage still after 36 years, and know that those things- feeling loved and wanted, being with someone who wants to do things with you and spend their time with you- are what underpin a good relationship. If you don't have them then I think it's natural to start getting crushes because you're looking for that feeling that you're missing in your own relationship.
Have you spoken to your DH about how you're feeling? Not the crushes but the other stuff you feel you need from him?
That's your starting point I think.

I raised it with exh many times but he never understood the issues or would throw it back at me (I didn't make enough of an effort, how was he supposed to find me attractive in my gardening clothes, etc) and eventually I left.
Towards the end I was getting more and more crushes to other people, which I absolutely think was down to seeking out what I was missing. You need to address what's missing in your relationship or else those crushes won't go away.

@Honeybeebloom I've spoken to him on lots of occasions, he gets defensive we argue, and things change for a few days, then just go back to the way they were. It's hard. I love him so much. he was, and is, my first love, our DC are still young, and one is on the spectrum and cannot cope with change.

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