Would you get involved again?

[Richtea2]

Hi,

I am really in need of advice and I am not sure I want to be involved in the situation again.

I recently got told my ex friend was in hospital and their dad had to go get their kids. The thing is there's a battle with my ex friend and her kids father. It's like they are both as bad as it's each other.
I talk to my ex friend kids father because of her kids. Like I did send happy birthday wishes to all them. At that time she had her kids and was told she didn't want me involved with them. This is such a messy situation to actually go into.
The kids father contacted me to give updates on ex friend but more to tell me how kids are doing. Don't think he care about what happens to her in hospital.
So I had a phone call on the weekend saying he would like us to meet up with him and the kids.
So I had heard something else and I kind of said what am I doing really getting involved in this again.
I would love to see these kids again but their mother and I don't talk. Their Dad got them not really sure what's going on. I think the kids have been through too much and I feel they would be worried about their mum. So thought let's wait until things settle they are old enough to be aware of things. Plus they got to want to see me and I don't know what their mother been saying to them about me.
Their dad knows this situation affected her friendships etc.
So apparently I always been their in back ground even if not involved.
I know he got kids and think another war going start with my ex friend and her kids dad.
I do really want to see the kids but it's been such a long time. Not sure how to feel they been through a lot I moved on from this situation because even before this ex friend got ill the situation was just getting worse.
Even though I am not speaking to this ex friend I hope she gets well for her kids. I don't actually want to be meeting her kids with their dad behind her back.
I would just speak to the kids on the phone first. Or do you think that's even bad?
The whole situation draining not sure I can handle the stress of it all.

Any advice

God no.

If your friend is in hospital she’s got enough going on without finding that you’re seeing her kids against her wishes.
Be aware that the dad might be doing it to get one over on her.
Stay away.

Thank you

Do not get involved. She does not want you involved with her children. He is using you to stir the pot and wind her up. Step away from this big mess.

Move away from this mess . Your post is so convoluted I can barely understand what is really going on .

Thank you so much.
Exactly what I think plus he got all the kids and he can't cope too. First time he had them like this too.

I wouldn't. She's obviously going through hell and I don't trust his motivation.

You will be dragged in to the middle and blamed.

@MrsMaizel

Move away from this mess . Your post is so convoluted I can barely understand what is really going on .

It's so complicated it's one of them ones where do I start with explaining this situation.

Thank you all for advice.

God no. Don’t touch this with a 20 foot pole.

Do not see the kids. Your ex friend is ill in hospital and has made it plain to you that she's not speaking to you and doesn't want you involved with her kids.

It would be incredibly bitchy and inappropriate for you to take this opportunity to go see her kids, knowing she absolutely doesn't want you to.

He's only contacting you to be a twat to her. He obviously knows the two of you have fallen out and he's trying to get one over on her. He's a prick.

They guy is a massive tosser. Don't screw the poor woman around like that. There's a reason she doesn't want you around her kids and to take advantage of her at such a vulnerable time would be an abysmal thing to do.

Absolutely not, your ex friend has made it clear she doesn't want you involved so why do you think you should? Just because their dad says it's OK?

He's clearly trying to get a reaction from his ex and you will be blamed.

I would help the dad if he finds himself in an emergency child care situation. At least that way the kids would be with someone they know instead of a stranger. Barring that unlikely phone call, stay out of it.

It's like you all said what I was thinking.

So after this guy calling saying about we should meet to see kids. It's like that evening I was like what are you doing she doesn't want you to be involved in the kids lives. I also thought don't want the kids to feel they are going against their mum seeing me and feel forced too.
So I decided to step away totally from the situation but feel bad because the dad sent Invitation to go somewhere but I just ignored him.
I know them kids since they were babies it's kind of sad to just tell him I cannot be involved in their lives as their mum doesn't want me too. I can't even get caught in their battle. But I will tell him and he will have to accept it.
This really troubled me for a few weeks and I just moved past it now.
I need to do what's best for me.
I do appreciate him for keeping me updated but that was only when I thought she was very ill or the kids. It's hit home to me a few things.
I am not about revenge it was purely for kids why I spoke to him but soon as I heard she don't want me involved I am done now.

Thank you all again