Hello there,
This is the first time in this forum and I am aware this topic might have been brought up a lot but I would be grateful for any input (without judgement if possible :) ). Thank YOU!!
My partner and I have been together less than a year and he has been suffering from some mental health issues. His father, whom he has incredibly close to, passed away unexpectedly due to COVID in February 2021. Before his passing, my partner's father asked him to look after his mother and his brothers (both in their 20s, one of them still living at home) - needless to say my partner has taken his role very seriously and wants to honour his fathers' wishes.
I tried to support my partner and his family during the first weeks of their loss by helping out with chores, sorting out paperwork, registering them for bereavement counselling etc. - it's worth mentioning that all this time my partner asked me for my help- i was trying to be mindful and not impose myself on a grieving family.
During this time things escalated bw my partner and I to a point where he broke up with me and "uninvited" me from attending his father's funeral. Even though I felt hurt by this, I tried to be understanding and respectful and not make this about our relationship.
Fast forward a couple of months and we have gotten back together however our relationship has changed drastically. He lives back at his parents house, where he spends most of the time looking after his mother and his younger brother. He has not stayed over at mine since February and we hardly spend more than 2-3 hours together when we see each other.
We have not been intimate with each other for more than 3 months and despite understanding why, it is sometimes quite hard to adjust to this. Sometimes it feels our relationship has shifted into a friendship and I have asked him about it and he said he just does not want to be intimate at all at the moment but he still loves me and finds me attractive.
I know he is going through immense pain that I will never be able to understand and I am trying to be respectful of him but I feel unloved and undesired a lot...
I know grief is life-changing and a lot of people said that losing a parent was the worst thing they have ever experienced. I am not trying to come across as selfish or ignorant but genuinely asking for input....
Could anyone please give some insight if they went through something similar?
Thank you so much!
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